Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas in WI

It is officially Boxing Day as I write early in the morning with Jack beside me drinking his coffee and trying to be quiet. We are in Madtown and all the rest are sleeping. The puppy woke me to go outside at 7:30 and I stayed up to download pictures and blog. Jack found me and here we are. Our Christmas was full and really an okay one. We had Amberly and Jimmy over for dinner on the 24th with entertainment by their baby Christian. I chose a simple menu of roast beef and veggies with a salad and yet was very tired just before they arrived. A few moments in a recliner to totally relax and I was up and full of vim and vigor for the holiday. We enjoyed good conversation with our food and then raced off to the Christmas eve service at the church. I do love that church and the candlelight service with Petersons and part of the congregation was just the ticket for a blessed Christmas. It is the one thing I really hate to miss on Christmas.
Home in the frosty air to open gifts with Amberly and Jimmy before they went off to the next celebration. We had been invited to Clark and Sue's but honestly by 9:30 I had gifts to wrap and dishes that needed doing so I texted my regrets and helped Jack go to bed. I finally fell in by midnight. Morning came and we had a special breakfast for just Jack, Jenna and I, packed the car to travel and opened our gifts for one another. Jack got me the 'MamaMia' DVD!
Soon it was time to leave. Jack and I waved bye to Jenna and came down to S's. I fixed a good soup with the chicken leftovers from the annual Quam open house she holds each year. Peggy and the girls came over and we had a feast. She brought a cherry cranberry pie and made the best corn muffins to go with the soup. It was a zoo but a fun one. S is still down with the nasty cold. I am a few days ahead of her in recovery so she has not voice and it is in her chest. I am still nasally and stuffed up but otherwise functioning. (No one else has it. Yeah!) Soup was good for both of us.
The dishes were done by 10 and the pup walked the last time by 12. A good night for me! Peggy and the girls got me a manicure set and some tasty goodies. Suzanne and Karah got me Burt's Bees stuff. Nice!
Today we look forward to going to mom's for a celebration and meal. Tomorrow back to Reedsburg where I still have some preparation for Life Connections class on Sunday and some chickens to cook for a time with Mike and Jessica on Sunday at their apartment. I have gifts and Jack is looking forward to getting to watch Eliana open hers. Kids are such a kick! Little Christian is a favorite of ours and he was so pleasant on Christmas eve and even slept through the candlelight service. I am so grateful for Ash sharing the pictures on Snapfish of their holiday. I felt somehow a part of it. I have been at her mom's house so the pictures were a good reminder of her pleasant and warm hospitality and decorating style. It is good to know the "in-laws"!
Our Christmas celebration time would not be complete without a time with the Peterson family and we look forward to that meal and melee of gifts for the kids on Tuesday evening at 5. I feel fortunate to have them in my life and nearby. I am a sort of grammy to them.
Test messages floated in through my day yesterday and I got a "Merry Christmas" from Ira, Jams and Jess plus some from friends as well. All in all (without obsessing on the seperation from my kids by distance) I am pleased with this Christmas. I will not let myself go into what I lack but concentrate on the many blessings I can count this Christmas and every day when I choose to sit to write my gratitude list. Merry Christmas to you all and God Bless!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

This Christmas is different but still lovely..

I always love the trappings of a celebration and am ready at the drop of a hat to make a bit of a party out of life. Any excuse and why not the celebration of the greatest Gift God ever gave to man. The ribbon on that package is still around me to remind me of the preciousness of that gift. No, I didn't always treat the gift as precious. I even took it for granted from time to time. But this year my heart is so grateful for the glory of God touching mankind with Jesus' birth and life and death on the cross and resurrection. My Lord in the morning this is truly the most awesome event in all of history and nothing compares. In my case it is very personal and vivid. I came out of darkness into the light. I came from pain and misery to joy and unconditional love. Wow!
So if I diverge forgive me. My salvation is still fresh in my heart and mind.
The tree is up and the decorations are lovely. The lights twinkle and shine and every other night they greet me as I stumble to the bathroom or to get a drink and I am so comforted at the representation of new life in Christ for me, an undeserving but oh so appreciative sinner saved by grace. I like the giving of gifts as a small token of what I have been given. I like thinking of all the people I love and preparing a small gift for them that I hope blesses them.
The feasting at holiday time is a fine thing. No matter what the feast is be it a chicken or a rolled rib roast with trimmings. Eating with friends that supper of celebration together bringing another year to a close and looking forward to the time that Jesus comes back. I love my Lord so much and seldom blog big words about it but tonight in the presence of many children and a dear friend with a cold I am so aware of my joy. The snow is blowing and swirling. The puppy is learning to sit. The gas fireplace suddenly began to work and it is sleepover night at S's house. Girls are singing little silly chants and the boys are cleaning the basement.Tish is a sleeping and the baby not far behind. Canary is snoring already as she was watching the boys clean and fell sound asleep. Small things. Other people's precious kids and I only am a small piece of caring for them. I think of Jenna with Jack and feel good. They are home and warm and safe. I think of my kids all across the country and pray for their best in all areas. I love many and much but none so much as my Lord God who saved me. Sigh. This may be over the top for a blog but I simply am bubbling over with appreciation and gratitude. My heart overflows.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

A Wonderful Wintery Day!

It is quiet time here at Suzanne's. Spongebob is on and the kids each have a couch. Tisha is in her room and no longer upset. She would not let me do the dishes so I put her away for awhile to mellow out. The dog is in his cage and out the big family room doors and windows it is blowing and cold.
I go pick up more kids by 5 so this is my last moment to rest and relax. Natch I am on the computer and lovin it!
I will add to my bloglist later when I can take more time but at least put one up. Followers please add to my list. I hate to be so singular.
Jack called me awhile ago and he sounds cozy and doing fine. Jenna is catching up on her homework today. Peggy is getting out of the hospital and hopefully in time for the "Go Fish" concert tonight. Lewcie is coming here to play with Demetrius. Tonight is bath night for all. Tomorrow is church and lucky me gets to take a bundle of kids. I do like being Godmother and Mary Poppins too.
Being a gramma is a full time job!

Thanksgiving was great!

We went afar for a family fun time!
Nashville or bust I said...well I got the flu on the way after being with sickies all weekend before we left. So forced to stop at a Super 8 somewhere in Illinois I unloaded while fighting the urge to unload more and made it in with Jack before the truly bad 8 hours began. The next day I forced myself to get up and move it out. When we arrived in Nashville I was mostly better.

Oh how fun to see Jessi and Jamie first thing. They helped us get in and unload the car. I brought gifts for all and they lined the corner of the dining area off their living room. It was so exciting to be there and see the beautiful house where Lance and Jamie live. Jamie looked thin and lovely and by golly so did Jessi Lynn. Lance got there late and they opened the envelope from the ultra-sound. Then they tortured us watching a 30 minute video of the ultra sound with the sex of the baby clear at the very end. It is a boy!

The next day brought the arrival of all the others. Ira and Ashley got there in the night and brought their sleeping kids up to waiting porta cribs. In the morning I was so excited to see all. Beck and Evie were cute as ever and full of sweetness. In the evening Jessi and Lance retrieved Brandy from the airport. My heart my heart!

Thanksgiving day was a day for relaxing and later a supper of Lasagna, salad and garlic bread at the beautiful table. We did the actual Thanksgiving meal a day late and that made it so easy and fun. Lance is a virtual energizer bunny and did have coffee and breakfast ready each morning. Jack's bedroom was a lovely futon on the lower level in the den ( soon to be baby's nursery) and so my upstairs bedroom gave me much needed rest. Lance gave Jack his breakfast before I even meandered down. That was a godsend for me and I really got rested!

So we put the turkey in at 7 a.m. and it was fine at 2 p.m. The menu was turkey, stuffing, mashed dilly potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes, tater- tot casserole with green beans, corn and cranberries. So traditional and simple. I enjoyed the whole day! What a black Friday. We played fun games in the afternoon. Spoon and egg carry for the kids and wheelbarrow races plus egg toss for the adults. Lance was a fun Host! We opened the Thanksgiving presents after dinner and before pie. Everyone got something nice.

Later that night we took a trip to the Opreyland Hotel and walked a mile and another mile and another but oh how beautiful it was! Jack stayed home and slept while we went on the adventure. We saw a Christmas show and so many beautiful lights.

Lance took us out to some fun boutiques and stores too and I found a cake carrier from the 50's.
Ash found a cook book holder made from white painted iron and an adorable cellulose doll from the 50-60's for her kitchen window. Treasures from a trip are even more special!

So eventually Tuesday rolled around and Jack and I hit the road at 10:30. We made it to the same Super 8 by dark and stayed a better stay that night and got home Weds. afternoon. We are now back to normal and the trip is a pleasant memory. Pictures are ordered and memories will be forever when we are reminded. Playing soccer with Beck and watching him go crazy excited when his little sister opened her birthday gifts. We celebrated Evie's early with Ashley's on Saturday. Evie carried around a "baby" as big as she is. Gramma loves to give gifts! Ashley got a set of silverware that she needed and I got a subscription for her to Mary Jane's Farm magazine.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

From the Basement to the Attic

I crawled into the tub with my book "Do You Think I'm beautiful?" by Angela Thomas. Before I was done I reached an awareness that I had become someone I never wanted to be and it was my choice to call out to God and ask Him to change it. I called out and today was better. I am realizing that I have been disobedient in an area and though Heavenly Father has been very faithful and kind to me...waiting for me to realize where I had gone in my pain. I had left my first love...not completely but turned away and stopped seeking. What I have done to survive in my home I have done to my Saviour and Lord as well. Go through the motions the feelings may come back later but for now just keep on keeping on has been my mantra.
I do not want to be less that in a vital alive active relationship with my God. I want to be in the word daily, praying and prophecying, doing service as I am led, obedient in my finances as well as in the church and community and home.
My tears are real and my repentance is real and I fear the thing that so often happens between the knowing and the doing...looking into the mirror then walking away and forgetting what I look like. I so long to instantly obey. I want to trust God in every area and plug my ears to the world's voices.
I still want to be able to get past my circumstances and to put my life on the life every day. Either God is real every day and in all the ways He claims or else it is a fairy tale and I know it is real so I want to walk in the reality of my faith. Putting feet to my faith every day. Yes!
So the deal is this: I feel renewed and refreshed. I now want to be refueled and revived and I am going to do my part to see that in my life. God is good and I trust him so I want others to see that I really do in the small choices or the huge life changing ones. It is all the same.
Am now in the attic (emotionally) with my Bible in my hand. I am going forward with my Redeemer!
Thanks for your prayers and please do not stop. The Baldwin household needs God and His Mercy and Grace in every area of life.

Monday, November 17, 2008

It is very nearly time to think about Christmas!

I have no energy for the season.

My heart got broke awhile back and the mending happens in surges and lulls.

This is a lull.

I love a party, want everything beautiful and inviting. My doll house is over-run with people and now the mice have moved in too. I feel invaded and crowded out. Too much to do and to little manpower to do it. I may not even make it to Christmas with any mistletoe and holly. A Tree? Oh not that mess. Where will I put the tree this year. There is not room except on the deck. There won't be any presents to physically put under it but that doesn't matter as much as the idea of celebrating. Sigh. Maybe some cheese for the mice and a kerchief for the dog...

Sickness has invaded. Came in the Jenna door and hopefully will go out the Lyndee window. I want to be well to drive to Nashville for Thanksgiving.

Someone sent me a picture of a brain this morning. I knew I lost something but where is it mind that is. Is the temper in the mind. I lost that too. Oh shucks, the sense of humor went too.

So, hopefully you will read this and realize that I am coming to the end of my enthusiasm and overcoming spirit and please pray I get some kind of renewal, refuelling and refreshing. I need energy and my sense of humor restored plus for my head, back and feet to stop hurting. Did I mention my neck and both wrists? (Just a touch from you will help Lord). So readers pray for Grammaninners to be restored to vibrancy and vigor.

Thanks much!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Update on Jack

Jack went in for a ultrasound on his kidney this week and the report came back. He does have a cyst but it is normal and no problemo! His pain is gone also from the big sneeze last week. Much ado about that ah...choo!

We are thankful for your prayers!

A New Hairdo and A New Puppy

I am a die hard lover of change. When Jack would leave for the rig I would begin a project to move us from room to room or just rearrange the place. I love to do different things with my hair and am never afraid to try out a new style even if it is radical. In the 60's and 70's I did the Afro and wore a military coat. I dyed it many colors but not at once until the 90's. I only went lavender for a few days. Now I get a perm every few years it seems and this week was my siren call. I made a few extra dollars and was toying with getting my head almost shaved if it hadn't become possible to get the dreaded Perm. I am once again curly topped. It is so new I still smell like a perm. I look forward to growing out my fair and royal locks again and this perm thing helps me get through some awkward stages. I know I will get some yeah's and some nay's but it is okay as I never stay the same way for long.

Speaking of new smells we gave Karah's new puppy Prince a bath this morning. He smells much better now alas it will not last. We will no doubt have to dunk Prince often. Prince is a yellow lab with an English pedigree. He is roly poly with needle teeth and very loveable and sweet. Karah does a great deal of the work of taking care of him but the rest of us fill in when we can help. This yellow lab is darker than Sasha which is my son's yellow lab. I love the temperment and am glad to be around some of the time to watch this little fella grow up. So far Tish and the baby do not like this pup because he licks them and nibbles on their fingers and toes with his needle like teeth. The rest of us don't really like being chewed either but we are learning to distract him and give him a toy when he does that. He is doing well on being potty trained or maybe we are doing well at remembering to take him out often and right after he gobbles his food.

This Monday is Karah's 8th birthday. She is excited but has a cough. So today is slowdown and stay home day to try to get well. We may even try a bath with the vapors later on. Eliana is here and even had a bit of a nap. She seems to have leg aches like I did when I was growing. I rubbed them and helped her get warm to try to ease the pain. My gramma rubbed my legs for hours sometimes. She was a peach! I also have the baby and Tisha and Canary and Demetrius. Later maybe Peggy will drop by with Jordan and Lewcie. I am completely exhausted from a night with puppy and baby and my own back giving me fits. I think I slept 4 hours and paced quietly taking Nsaids. Life has it's moments of trial. For me 6 days a week.

I may post a picture of what the house looks like and I have been right behind them all day. Sigh. After they hit the sack I can whirlwind around and make it nice and try to sleep a bit more so my sabbath does not succeth!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Things are unexplained but normal.

E.R. checked Jack out from head to toe and sent him home with Pam W and Jenna for the night and apparently he has pain meds for tonight. They found nothing definative after a CT scan and blood work and x-rays. He is still in major pain but wants to go home NOW and is hungry.
Thank you for prayers.
Now I must get the six kids in the car and go pick up Anjeline and take her and the baby home get my kids back here and in bed and Peggy should be back about that time to take hers.
At church today I heard the Lord telling me to rest. Rest in Him came later but I heard rest and sleep and take it slow so I am planning that very strategy for this week and next. I am tired through and through. Guess I should not have needed that word from God but it is hard for me to stop doing...

Prayer Request for Jack

This morning he sneezed big while Jenna was shaving him before church. He rose up out of the chair and yelled in pain. His side is hurting bad and now he says it has hurt since he last fell 2 weeks ago. It never bothered him when he went to get an adjustment either week. He has gotton up and down fine without pain. Now he is unable to breathe well or get in or out of his chair without help. Please pray as he has been coughing and I do not want him to get pneumonia. He does not want to go to the hospital or urgent care.
I will go home in the morning and continue to assess his symptoms. In the meantime, Jenna has a high pain level herself and this is a hard chore to be helping lift Jack. Please keep them in prayer.
Post Script #1 - Jenna is taking him to hospital against his will as he is in too much pain. I will update you all later.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

To those of you who noticed:

No, my eyebrow is not pierced. I have duct tape decorated with rhinestones on a "removeable" spot. Cool gramma huh?

Age and Style

About 25 years ago my husband and I had our picture taken as a couple. I had large pink glasses on and a hairstyle that was gentle and quite ordinary. This picture hangs on wall above the bed he sleeps in. I make this bed every morning. I looked in the mirror and noticed my pink glasses and ordinary hairstyle albeit a new color. So I ran for my camera and shot myself with the said delightful younger photo beside me.

Styles come and go over the years but it struck me that I was in a dejavu type look. So posting this will please me and you can see the ravages of time or the amazing way I look just the same. It is all in the eye of the beholder so depending on the day have at it!

Good News!

Jams went home yesterday and her sister is staying with her to help her! I praise God and ask for you to continue to pray for her during this pregnancy.
Jamie has had many attacks on her physical self through health challenges during the past two years. The result has been a harder than usual pregnancy.
Her greatest desire is to be the wife and mother God has called her to be and her health will affect her abilities. So I will pray and urge others to do so also. Thanks so much!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Need Your Prayers!

My Jamie girl needs your prayers. She is in hospital awaiting the news if she now needs a transfusion. She has a kidney infection, e-coli and low numbers in hematicra. If you read this please pray for her and for the baby! Thanks!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Fall Retreat

On Oct. 2nd I had the joy of going to a women's retreat at Spencer Lake Campground in Waupaca. I rode up with Jean and Pam in Jean's Prius and the ride was fun. I hadn't known Jean very well and thought she might be stiff. Far from the truth actually she was a kick and her mom joined us from Milwaukee and it was great having her along.

We shopped and ate and I rested while they played games and put together puzzles in the evening. I was bone tired when I went and getting over being very sick so an opportunity to melt down in my bunk and read the word of God and journal while I took supplements and just rested was so welcome to me. Fortunately the ladies didn't question my right to take this time and it turned out well for all.

The speaker had a wonderful testimony and there were additional highlights including prayer up front for those of us who wanted it. I welcomed it and received peace. Angel met me at the front and prayed "Peace" and "Bulldog" over me. I do know I am tenacious. I hang on for dear life to the promises God gave. I only wish I could hang on to my money a bit better. Sigh. So did I mention we shopped?

Once again I put a "Doris Weed" painting on lay-away. This one is for the dining room and it is just delighful! I adore her style. It is so funny and full of whimsey. I alsobought a few small gifts for the Thanksgiving get together at Nashrock. I love getting gifts for others. Heck I love getting gifts for me too! I got myself a glass nail file of all things and a purse hanger. They just may be too specialized for me and others may receive them. I usually have a messy and heavy purse with tons of junk inside. I buy the kind that can hold 50 # and then overload it. So finding what is in there is a chore. I want to be organized and strive for it but fall a bit short on account of over-booking and not setting time boundaries on what others take from me. Needy people will always take all the time you have if you let them and then soon you are one of the needy ones. I struggle with time boundaries.

So Jenna had some problems with Jack falling while I was away and she was highly stressed when I was on the way home. I still took time to stop for a last dinner, had two glasses of Chardonnay and a tray of nummy appetizers as a treat from my new friend Jean. It was so fun that Pam, Jean and I plan to go to Minneapolis for a special weekend after the first of the year. If that happens I will need Jamie's old direction notebook to find the wonderful antique store and boutique we used to go to so I can share it with these ladies. When I arrived things had settled down a bit and he had less falls after that but still one really different one where he fell on the walker and gouged his hand really deeply, bruised his hip and hurt his neck. Sigh!

What was the best part of the weekend? Coming home with more peace and feeling refreshed and ready to face the next task at hand. I will go again next year if God allows.
What am I looking forward to now? Thanksgiving (of course) And spending tomorrow with Mike cleaning the old house. Then Girl's night in tomorrow night working on the books we are building of our authentic selves. Oh and Jesus coming again in the sky for His church!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Farmers' Market

Hey, had a ball yesterday when I decided to take an hour and 20 minutes to explore the farmers' market on the capital square in Mad-town. Went against the flow of foot traffic no matter what way I chose to go but it turned out except when I almost tumbled over a wagon tongue because of my bi focals. Whew. That kid would have been surprised as would his cauliflower.

I was on the lookout for apples and flowers and cauliflower. I got peppers (both green and mild), apples, broccoli and cauliflower plus a tiny bouquet of straw flowers. It was fun and the cauliflower grown locally was 1/4 the price of the one at Whole Paycheck the day before that I luckily weighed before purchase. I carried my own bag and only took a 20 and brought home 5 so did really good.

I tasted a few really good bites of horseradish cheese but resisted the high price per pound. I love the flavor of the market and the music and the $1 cup of good free trade coffee made me wake up instead of lay on the grass and look up at the trees as I was tempted to do.

As I made my way back to the car I felt really proud of my purchases and look forward to eating them this next week. I would love to go every week instead of to the grocery store. It is like a throwback to the 60's for me. Good food and open air with music and flowers ...well, that is why we were called the flower children, huh?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Rest of the Story

So all week I have worked at cleaning up the biggest mess I have seen in a yard for quite awhile. John cut and run in a big bad rainstorm and I had to stay and do the cleanup. I got a helper here and there for a couple hours but mostly just plugged away at it. 8 truckloads went to the city brush pile and I have given logs away and still have an amazing pile to move this next week. Dave S came over and used my electric chain saw to cut up the long pieces I couldn't take to the city and now it is looking like a done deal! I am grateful to Peggy, Jenna, Josh and Dave for helping me and to Pam for a night out watching Mama Mia one last time on the big screen as a reward for a job well done. I do know how to reward myself you know. It makes the whole thing a lot more fun.
I wore my headband like a sweatband one day as I was dripping and we ran to Culver's for some Soup. You know that Soup is good food and they had Mexican Chicken Enchilada...MMMMM Good! So the lady asked if we had any discounts or coupons and Pam said "NO"...I said "Wait what kind do you offer and she said well are either of you over 60?" and I crowed "Yes! I am 62!" She looked at me like she almost was gonna ask for an ID but Pam said "She always looks younger when she wears that headband!" Ha! Gotta get your laughs where you can huh?

Friday, September 12, 2008

My Willow got a bad haircut!

I am not talking Jamie Willow here. I am talking my actual Willow Tree in the front yard. The facts are that in the last windstorm I noticed the tree was split and later it split more and finally I could see through a spot on the trunk so I was so worried. It truly was the tallest Willow tree around that I had seen and I was swayed by it's beauty when I wanted the property. It made the place and oh how I wanted to save that tree.
My brother is into saving trees so he volunteered to prune back the heaviness and see if we could keep it standing another 10 years. Well, I can tell you that it looks bad but what is worse, the yard looks worse. I have piles and piles and mounds and intermigling branches, fronds, 12" diameter branches and neat cut pieces that John got to with one of his three saws in the driving rain. He for sure missed some but oh well.
The day began raining and I called to see if he wanted to cancel. No...he and ma were coming he said. Turns out he wanted to buy a older Ford Camper Van thingy so they drove up in that with apples from Sky Hi orchard and his dog who is now deaf as Hobbz. The rain went up and down. The sun came out and went behind clouds and then it rained, drizzled, poured, misted, clabbered up and poured again then came the downpour. Yuk!
I prayed a lot. John is surefooted but the slippery tree and the rain and the height he climbed did make me think I needed angels to watch out after him. He might not be a Christian (and he for sure is not) but he is my brother and I counted on the Lord taking that into consideration when I asked. It ain't over til it is over so hope presides in my heart.
Now, as John stated upon leaving, I will find out who my friends are. The mess supercedes normal messes and it is more like a tangled web of heaviness. So it needs further action with a chainsaw. I won one and have really never used it. Guess my day has come.
Monday when I arrive home from here it will be a workaday! I was half-dead and soaked to the skin yesterday and I hope it is not raining on Monday. I already have one volunteer helper and I think he might be able to handle the chain-saw. Sigh.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Beck's Package is ready to go!

I have finally had enough fun gathering the gifts. The box I chose is full to the brim and it is wrapped and taped and addressed to go tomorrow. Life is good when you are 3 and everyone loves you and I think that is great!

I have a few hints as to the goodies I found to include. I will put them on the side to tempt you.
I would have put a bunch of homemade cookies in there but have stayed so busy no baking has happened. There is a treat though!

I love you Beck and your mama, daddy and sister too! Have fun opening and trying on and playing with as well as learning from the certain goodies I included.

How long should it be before the mailman comes with the box? Maybe next week huh? Wish I could be there to watch you open it.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Enjoyed the hunt!

In between having a nervous breakdown and drinking gin/tonic in my car late at night while I listen to Books on CD to avoid going in and dealing with more nagging and questions and other trivia that occurs when I have a huge issue going on, but that is another story; meanwhile I have shopped for Beck and compiled a small box of goodies which I will soon send. Some of the things I am not sending are electronic toys or DVD's. No expensive goodies or new toys that will soon lay on the basement floor or in a toy box to never be played with again. I wish I could see him open it but of course that might be impossible seeing as how I am tied down and broke for awhile.

My helper Miss Jenna is in Love with a certain bakers man named Francois and she started school. She is fixed up and set up and able to do it so I wish her the best possible. I want to see her succeed and to have a vocation which does not tax her physically unstable body too much. She has problems every day, a pain, a headache, a back that goes out, her neck is stiff, her bowels are stirred up, her temper is hot or she is hurt by someone's remarks. Sigh. I hardly remember what it is like to be nearly 30. Maybe I was like that. I suspect not but maybe...I had already drank and lived way too hard, only accepting Christ at 29 and slowly leaving behind the cigarettes and nearly all the hoochie pop and other pain medications too numerous to mention. Jesus and my kids became my center and I worked the program well. Sadly but predictably, they are all grown and gone and my life is smaller again... Jesus didn't leave thank God! He never will!

But oh well my precious offspring go on, live your lives..., I shall soon be able to begin my book and paint my masterpiece. My room is nearly organized. My masterpieces and manuscripts may be full of memories and concepts I have learned and a whole lot of nonsense as that amuses me but they will be mine. Lewis Carroll was after all quite nonsensical and we are still reading "Alice"! As I write there are 6 kids in my peripheral, one 2 month old in my lap taking a bottle while I type one handed. One thing is lacking but I shall leave that to your guesswork.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Beck will be 3 on Sept. 1

Yeah my sweet little grandson is growing into a pre-schooler! I love this age. This summer Jack and I has the joy of visiting him and his spunky sister for 5 days. We also enjoyed their sweet parents but the kids have a way of stealing the show to say nothing of your heart. Beck has moments of great challenge when Grampa had to share his bedroom and whenever he would laugh or cough. Beck would tighten up his face and say "I no like it!" but eventually they developed a relationship where they played simple things together and talked an early morning conversation which neither of them could translate but it satisfied their sense of comraderie. I enjoyed watching them interact and of course helped manage the moments so to speak. Once a nanny always a nanny...
Beck was always excited that I would bring him "present". So he would ask me about the presents often and I always give lots of books so he called the books "present" as he carried some around. I found these lovely big grey elephants at Kohls and got Evie and Him each one but he found it challenging to receive. Elephants were not something he thought were cuddly. Later I saw him carry it around but it took awhile for him to "love" the thing. Oh well, win some lose some and all the responses are fun for gramma. I never insist that kids hug me or love me before they want to. I am the far-away gramma and spend so little actual time with the kids that I seem like a fantasy person as does Grampa Jack. We simply have to accept the position with grace and enjoy all we can. I love them and am excited to learn of their accomplishments.
Once thing I sure enjoyed about our visit was Beck playing the drums in uncle Brennen's room. Dad was overseeing but you could see he was a natural. I do see similarities between him and his daddy for sure.
Happy Birthday Beckaroonie! I love you tons and so does grampa. We cannot wait to see you again and enjoy your latest accomplishments and mannerisms. A box will arrive but late. I do that because I need to wait til I get money but also I remember my far away gramma sending boxes long after the event and it was so fun, a celebration in itself and just for me! Hope he feels the same.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Calamity Averted

Today I got a call from my dentist saying I could get my crown installed this afternoon instead of next Tuesday. I agreed and then rearranged my schedule to fit it all in. I was headed out the door when Jenna clearly heard the word "Calamity" and began to pray against it and to text me. I happened to hear something on the radio that pertained to us so called her before she could send the text. She told me to pray against calamity and be alert. I hung up and before one block the Sauk Count Aging Van sped out of a sidestreet not stopping until I was upon it. We both hit the brakes and averted an accident. I went on to the job I had to do. Pulling in the driveway the trailer owners were just leaving. I waved them on and went in. Their dog was nutso so I slipped the collar on and booted him out but could smell something burning. I wondered if they had cooked and burned something. I needed to go start the laundry but instead I investigated the kitchen. I found the Lean Mean Grilling Machine plugged in, set on high with paper toweling in it. As I opened it the spark lit the towel which was already charred. The grease catcher was still under the machine with grease in it. I stopped a fire which would have taken out the trailer in minutes. I have seen how fast mobile homes burn. Oh how true that song 3rd Rock from the Sun is...but God was in this and we were listening so the trap of foolishness and/or the enemies hatred for Christians could have borne disaster today instead Calamity averted! Praise God!

Friday, August 22, 2008


I am missing my kids and grandkids tonight. Jessi Lynn way down in GA where I have never even been and likely won't get to go very soon due to money and responsibilities. Lance and Jamie with her starting a new job and them establishing their new marriage in Nashville. Ira and Ashley with her starting school and a busy family to tend and a living to make. Sigh. I live near Mike and Jessica and often cannot make the connection to visit. They are busy living their life and I am managing mine as best I can. My heart is connected to my kids and their kids and their mates and their lives and jobs and needs but I am also very tied down and constrained. Oh for the red sports car and the dog in the back seat with the top down and the trunk full of gifts. I am far from my early fantasies but they haven't been forgotton in the melee of my life. I still picture that "Auntie Mame" existance I once sought. Isn't it funny how life turns out? I have strings holding me back but my mind still plays with the fantasy. What is your fantasy left behind? Go ahead and tell me. I went first. Ha!

Beck nailed her with a glass of water

I miss my grandbabies!

Things are out of joint...but for God

It seems no matter which direction I turn something is wrong. My own situation has stresses galore and many of them are financial. Digging out of a pit is one thing but with one hand tied behind your back and no shovel is another. Sigh. I have many others around me that have intense problems at present as well. Many health and financial issues are abounding to say nothing of the issue of disasters. Car accidents, floods, job losses, downsizing, sin and the ravages of remorse, choices and many of them seem the right choices but then the payment for those choices comes.
I throw myself onto the altar and ask God to guide and help me undo the knotty problems one day and one step and one decision at a time. He alone is faithful. Humankind is frail and only when God enters in is there any hope. My hope is in Him.

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Dreaded Diet

So Folks who want to know...I am on the "healing diet" that my chiropractor is encouraging for those of us who have pain from inflammation. I do and I am seeing some results already. The scale has shown a 10 pound drop and my pain is lessened slightly. The premise is that my body does not utilize grains well and so my body produces inflammation as a response so out came all grains. I may add some back at a later time in moderation when I have been without pain awhile. The other thing that had to go is sugar in all forms including fruit. The deal is I have had Candida for some time and with my cravings I never really got rid of it. This diet covers that as well. So...I am happy to be sticking to this. I can still eat out for breakfast or a steak/chicken breast and veggies and a salad. But since I can hardly afford to eat out much I am not tempted much. The sugar craving has greatly lessened and since I want to be done with pain I am not too tempted to indulge in fruit. We can have some blueberries but they are low glycemic. I am avoiding the desserts of life just now and have coffee or tea when I need a treat. The other day I went out digging Chickory so I could roast and make Chickory coffee, a healthier kind with excellent flavor and no aroma or caffeine but worthy of a late night sip. Will let you see the wonderful results and keep you updated with future comments.

My Birthday Celebration #1

We went to watch Josh and Lizzie at the Cal Center in Seusizms and they were from Whoville I think...then later went to Star Cinema and watched Mama Mia for the 1st time. Since then I have seen it again and would rush for a 3rd if the opening came...After that we all went out to The Cheese Factory where I indulged in a birthday delight. What a fine first celebration. I was with Jack and the Peterson family and Jenna Lu. Fun!

The blush is on this rose for sure! Such a beautiful rose garden!
Pam went with us to the Butterfly Celebration at Olbrich Gardens in Monona WI! She loves plants and butterflies plus she pushed Jack around in the wheelchair so it was easier on me. Whew! Nice job! I loved it and my headache went away. (It would go away permanently if I could figure out how to get the pictures normal sized.)

They had many garden settings at Olbrich Gardens and we enjoyed the water affects. Lovely flowers everywhere and many butterflies hatching in the rainforest area!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

more good stuff

Jamie's Blog is fabulous! go there :)

the best thing ever

My lovely daughter and her sweet husband!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Looking Ahead

My best friend from high school called to wish me a belated happy birthday and I asked her what she was looking forward to. I am looking forward to leaving WI for a week or so to visit my son, daughter in law and grandbabies! Yeah! She has me outnumbered as she has like 18 grandkids and maybe even one great. They are nearby so she sees many of them often. Sometimes too often I have been told as she babysat for years as drop in center for the grands. I do not have that view as mine are far afield mostly. I do have Eliana closer for now and that blesses me. But I digress...She said she was looking forward to her birthday in January when she will be my age so she can apply for retirement and stop working all the time. She has some medical problems and works 34 hours a week at a Walgreens. She sounds tired to me!
I have already applied and am waiting to hear from S.S. and I am looking forward to what God is going to do in my life. God is very unpredictable so it could be very exciting! So what are you looking forward to? I will get back on when I return from the kids and gloat about my trip! TA

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Eight things I am passionate about:
1. Jesus and all that means in my life
2. Jack and our 4 kids
3. Their mates and the precious grandkids
4. The search for Better Health
5. Our church body
6. Being creative
7. Beauty in many forms
8. My dogs

Eight things I would like to do before I die:
1. Tell many about Jesus
2. Go to Italy and back to Scotland, England and Ireland
3. Lose the weight I gained from stress the last 2 years
4. Help women who are in bondage
5. Write the books I have in me
6. Create beauty
7. Use my gifts fully beginning with hospitality
8. Be an Overcomer!

Eight things I say a lot:
2. Get Real!
3. Stand up straight Jack!
4. Anyone want a cup of coffee?
5. I am tired today!
6. Don't mess up that newspaper til I read it okay?
7. Where is the mail?
8. I'll take a medium coffee with 3 creams please...

Eight books I have read
1. The Bible
2. Little Women, Little Men, Jo's Boys, Eight Cousins etc by Alcott
3. The Day on Fire by Ullman
4. The Battlefield of the Mind- Meyers
5. Tall Pine Polka by Landvik
6. The Red Tent by Diamont
7. Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles Cowman
8. The Mitford Series by Karon

Eight movies I will watch again:

1. Little Women (any version)
2. Miss Potter
3. Lemony Snickett a series of unfortunate events
4. Anne of Green Gables/Anne of Avonlea
5. Amazing Grace
6. Lady Sings the Blues
7. French Kiss
8. A Walk in the Clouds

Sunday, July 6, 2008

What a Week!

It has been a full one for sure. Jamie came last Sunday night on her way to move to Nashville to her waiting husband. It was a fun time. We shopped and hung out and went places like the chiro and to the lake and to view the flood damages in the area. It was laid back but full. The taco salad turned out well the night she arrived, we had brunch on Monday at the Bavarian Cafe in Middleton and enjoyed Pam White's hospitality for supper that evening. I found a fun house warming gift for her to take to her new home as we explored the local haunts. Jamie and I always could shop together as we share a love of exploring and enjoying the whimsical and beautiful things to add to our homes.
It was over way too soon for me and Jack has even shed tears as it seemed the end of something even though we are very happy for her and for Lance. Time marches on and that is how God planned it so who are we to resist? I am excited for the adventure they are on.
Then came the 4th of July at the church grounds. It is always a big deal and this was no exception. A bouncy tent and face painting for the kids, music for all, brats, hot dogs and soda cheap and free snow cones and pop corn up until the fireworks. We worked with a skeleton crew but it went well and once again we were able to bless the community. Firework sales went well this year. I believe we nearly sold out. The community fireworks display is in the church backyard so we all viewed it from our positions.
The next morning I raced down and have had kids ever since. Today I was blessed with Eliana for a time while Mike and Jessica saw a movie. Mike has a special way with David and he took him in his arms today and prayed for him. I saw a light come into David's eyes that was new and boy does he like Mike! I feel good but way tired. That kid likes to get up at 5 A.M. and that is just way too early for the likes of this woman! I like to sleep til 7 and then roll over and catch a few winks til nearly 8. Sigh!
Church was good at Lake City today. The worship was so good and we entered in and God's presence was right there immediately. I love that and the sermon was short and worship ensued and lasted another half hour. Sigh! I laid it all down once again. That is so good for me, for anyone but the build up of burdens can wash away in the presence of God!
Until next time blessed!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Wedding Recollections

Oh what a trip we took, my Jack and I. We drove far and met many and enjoyed it all. The wedding was a great and special event. I have liked all my kids weddings so far and this one was as unique and special as Jamie and Lance are. It fit and was so enjoyable to be a small part of.

We got to meet his parents, Sandi and Howard, His Aunt Sue and Uncle Willy, his sister Barbara and her husband Reinhart and their two precious kids. Best Friends joined and all my children were there with bells on. The grandkids played and frolicked. The whole affair was kid friendly as would be natural knowing Jams.
The wedding was precious with Jamie bouncing with her joy and Lance stoic but equally excited inside I am sure. Jessi played a song, held the bouquet, pressed the dress, cared for the possessions of her sister and got the room spruced up as was appropriate for their return. The wedding supper was just great like in "Froggy went a courtin'" and the various groups merged and converged in waves getting to know each other or not but all in agreement for the happiness of the bride and groom.
The weather, with many dire predictions just plain allowed this wedding to complete and was even shining favorable on the whole affair. Sunsets were lovely, prairie pictures were so fresh and picturesque. The photographers were angels and the food was good. Jack cried a ton but was happy. I teared up once but mostly was smiling upon the whole event beatifically. Jamie's laid back faith that all would be fine was answered as she knew it would. I remember asking what she would do if it rained and she just said "no worry... the bridge is long all will go well no matter what and besides mom, it won't rain..." My prophetic daughter was right.

The next day was great with a few small glitches that were mere speed bumps in the road and the reception was lovely in a whole different sort of way. Friends and family descended on the church atrium and a lovely program with simple and delicious desserts was lushly provided. There was a place for kids, they all loved Jessi Lynn's songs and the wee ones danced for our entertainment. The Quilt was a splendid guest book and pictures were taken by many including those wonderful friends with the cameras that did all. The online photo albums took me hours to peruse but am so glad I took a few so I could blog the memory online before ordering with so many choices. The slideshow Lance put together is now on facebook for many to share. He is a real whiz with all that electronic picturemaking stuff. I stuggle to just get the photo's onto photobucket and back onto my blog. Whew! I really admire talent in all areas. Thanks to Lisa Groves for the wonderful reception which fit Jamie's personality perfectly and went off without a visible hitch. Go Lisa! She could do that for a living for sure and she gave Jamie the best she had!

I cried when I drove out of Minneapolis. She has been only four hours away and that has meant a lot to me even though she has always been very busy at the church. I will probably never go to Minneapolis again and it was a lovely city. Now Nashville calls and they are ready for the move to a life together. I may not get there often or at all but I will cherish what was and pray for their happiness and health and be grateful for cell phones. I love my daughter and her husband with my whole heart and wish them all God's best for now and forever.

Did I say how much I loved their wedding and reception?
Oh Yeah!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I am un-ready!

Not in spirit but in body and prep time. The wedding is Thursday and this is Saturday. I have to find Jack's clothing somewhere in the attic. We wondered if he would ever need it last year was so bad...but yipppeeee! He is doing some better. Actually not perfect seeing as how he landed on his head and had to have staples put in this morning at the E.R. Sigh! I was here and he was there with Jenna and she took care of it. Pastor came too and that calmed Jack. Then they came down to Madtown and went to chiro and had a reasonably good time here eating pizza and watching the kids go nutzo and Jessi paint the new fence.
I laid hands on his head and prayed. Now I must change directions and go forward to the wedding. I am just this minute going to bed. I only got 4 hours last night and frankly that is just not enough and even if you never can keep up so what I will try! See some of you soon at the wedding and will post a few great shots in a couple weeks. Over the moon is my daughter and her intended seems a bit moony too. It is good...sooon enough old age creeps in and causes the inevitable losses but love may never be lost only translated in a new language for the time that is.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Freak Out!

I have not been this jumpy and tormented since I was asked to play a part in a drama of an abusive mother. That time I flipped out when I was on the way home. It was dangerous for me and today was sorta like that. Cannot completely explain but I am not going to take the job at Kwik Trip and I must tell them ASAP. I may not take any job that is regimented or where I feel trapped (not by my pain or by the job constraints). I would rather gather weeds to eat. At least that is fun. My life is so stressful right now that I just know if I step out just for the money that I will be in line for a breakdown of some kind. Physical usually goes for me...but feature what kind of crazy I could be. That is a picture. I am still looking for a very part time job for a couple days a week that is right for me!
I long for some kinda freedom and some kind of fun. I loved my job at the church and it offered variety. That is my best feature. I transition well for variety! I ask for your prayers that I might get through all this and do better physically, mentally, and emotionally ... plus maybe some financial perks as well! I wait and watch.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The New Kid!

So last week when I arrived I was told S took a 5 year old that was in a shelter with the mom. She got a check and went off to do crack leaving David with another person. Uh oh! That broke the shelter rules and after a day and night gone Social Services intervened. So what was being discussed with S as a mere respite became emergency foster care and David is still here. He is cute, Downs Syndrome, but pretty strong and physical. He has seen abuse so acts it out with other kids and dolls. He hits me when he is angry and runs away and taunts me if I try to catch him. It is purely hilarious to him and not very funny to myself or S. Fortunately, so far, other kids have helped me corral him. S put up a fence and Jackie and Jessi hauled all the kid toys off the deck into the fence. Originally it was for Tish but S will utilize the peremiters for keeping David safe. He is quick and can undo locks with little trouble. Although his speech is hard to distinguish (the kids tell me he is swearing but I ignore it as S instructed) he makes signs and uses some common words well. His main drawback for me is that he goes dead weight when he doesn't want to go to bed or sit on potty. He is as big as 5 year olds get and it is like trying to give my collie/shepherd a bath. Ouch! So all week I have had pain from the spinal stinosis which flared up and affected my legs and feet a lot. I just cannot let him win. I use sweet talk and kissy face stuff a lot and he does respond but when he really doesn't want to obey I have to use my strength. Pray for me to get strong! Jenna gave me money to go to curves for a month so I am going to begin there and then go on with my own book from what Jessi taught me. I have to now as it will be hard to find someone to take him. Pray for him and his mama as she tried to commit suicide when she came back and found he had been taken from her by Social Services. God can change anything if we let Him! This kid is cute and my heart goes out to him but oh what a drain of constant energy between him and Tisha. Tisha and him get along like two alley cats. Spit and growl...
With a little help from anywhere I can get it I will survive!
Mom just called. She has been in acute pain from her spinal stinosis problem and is going to Chiro and doing physical therapy with exercise. I hope she soon feels better as she wants to go to Jamie's wedding and the pain may keep her away. Her gall bladder surgery is June 11th. Peggy is having surgeries this summer too on both of her knees. One is a clean up and one a replacement I think...Well, enough chatty stuff here. I am on to clean up after kids. Go Lynda!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Joy Joy!

Spent some time in Minnelovalopolis as Lance calls the city of his beloved. I went with Jamie to her wedding shower put on by ladies at the church and got to meet Lance her intended finally. He met my expectation and I see that they are matched in many ways. Love is in the air for sure!
My next visit with them will be the day before their wedding in lovely Iowa near a bridge in Madison County...did you read the book and see the movie? Well if you did you know the charm of the area and the scene that will be unfolding at the wedding on the 29th on Rosesomething bridge. Yeah!
The additional joys are that my grandbabies will attend and my kids to attend them. I will be in 7th heaven after much absence from 2 of them and their parents.
I also got to have lunch with Jessi this week. I prepared angelhair pasta with mushrooms, chicken and pea-pods and the sauce was classic with roasted sundried tomatoes. On the side I marinated roma tomatoes with italian dressing and served them with parmesan. Dessert was fresh fruit...grapes and strawberries. It was lovely and she enjoyed it and we spent an extra hour sitting together catching up after a long absence since October.
The older I get the more time races by. Oh how I remember lying watching clouds go by and dreaming of the future. Now I just take it as it comes and sleep quick to get ready for the future to unfold each day.
My close friend Mary Ann has been in the hospital down south for a week. She and her husband have moved down there for the slower pace but it seems this health threat has caused her to think of moving closer to her kids. Not so close they drop all their responsibilites on them but close enough they can drive to help or to see them in an emergency. I think that may be the best result of this scare. Right this minute three of the girls are visiting her and that made her feel valued.
It was a busy week. I had what seemed a successful interview with Kwik trip and wait to hear if they want me for a part time employee. I am not in a hurry but do need some employment soon. I have much to do before it happens though. Like get out Jack's summer clothes and choose some fit for a wedding on a bridge somewhere in Iowa.. Tee Hee!
I feel frustrated that Jack has dementia and yet I still want him to be part of everything in our lives as much as he can. I want to be more patient and to juggle and balance the acts I must to make it all work. I have to stay right on top of what is going on with him and in his emotions. I like coming down to work at Madison. Working with kids is a joy and then going home is a joy afterwards, I am more ready for the smallness of our existance after being involved with others in a meaninful industry. I am working at figuring out my space in this world and my responsibility to my husband and to myself all the while trying to serve God honestly and first. It really is all one but the perspective must be checked with prayer and the word regularly.
Joy also is tomorrow. A chiropractic adjustment yes that is so needed after hauling a dead weight downs syndrome big 5 year old around today but better even is the time I will spend with my Eliana. Yipppppppeee!

Friday, April 18, 2008


I remember when: guess at 61 I am now old enough to tell oldtimers stories. I used to work in a bathhouse in Jemez Springs, N.M. I think the year was 1973. So I went online tonight and found the town has expanded and the bathhouse is going strong. So here is some of what I found:
The Jemez Springs BathHouse Mission Statement
The Jemez Springs Bath House is committed to reflecting the tranquility of the Valley by nurturing the health and well being of the mind, body and spirit through its services and products.
About Us
The Jemez Springs Bath House offers massage and alternative therapy by licensed therapists in private treatment rooms. Herbal sweat wraps are also available. A sign before you enter lists the 20 minerals and gases present in the water. The naturally occurring minerals in the Jemez water are acid carbonate, aluminum, calcium, chloride, iron, magnesium, potassium, silicate, sodium and sulphate.
The lobby offers an excellent selection of bath and beauty products, gifts, and also provides information on local points of interests.
Contact Us
©Copyright 2006 Jemez Springs Bathhouse All Rights ReservedFor more information feel free to Contact Us
I remember when Tommy ran the place and I worked for her. It was fun work and pretty much as listed above without the beauty and bath products and gifts.
I left this job when I fell in love with Jack Baldwin and moved to Utah with him as he followed the oil field jobs.
Jemez Springs Bathhouse
In summers past the Jemez Springs Bath House became the hub of the Valley, with people coming from miles around to take advantage of the healing powers of the natural hot mineral springs. Tents sprung up making a tent town. The bathhouse had a large swimming pool fed by the hot mineral springs for all to enjoy but has since been filled in. Many wish the pool was still there, but the large cement tubs still afford comfort to those who still seek the healing waters. The Jemez Springs Bath House is a State Historical Site, over a 100 years old.
Presently the bath house is owned and operated by the Village of Jemez Springs. There are eight large concrete tubs each separately enclosed for privacy. The tubs are filled with 100% mineral water from the natural hot springs using a combination of hot and cold water. The cold water is cooled in large outdoor tanks located outside next to the bath house.

Jemez Springs Bath House062 Jemez Springs PlazaJemez Springs, New Mexico 87025(505) 829-3303
toll free 1-866-204-8303

I am just surprised at all the new places to stay in this little mountain town.

Places to EatHere are some favorite places to eat:Los Ojos Restaurant & SaloonA true old west waterin' hole with a full bar. Home of the Famous Jemez hamburger, prime rib served every Friday and Saturday. Live music by local musicians. (505) 829-3547Deb's Deli & MercantileYep, its rustic country food New Mexico style. The closest you'll come to Pacific Northwest style high charged coffee without a plane ticket. (505) 829-3829Consetta's RestaurantAuthentic Italian dining at reasonable prices. The kitchen is open so patrons can watch Luigi Leggiero whip up pizzas, lasagna or one of the weekly specials. (505) 829-4455Laughing Lizard CafeAdelicious healthy homemade meals served in the main dining room or the outdoor deck. (505) 829-3108

When I was here there was only the Los Ojos bar and then the American Legion Club where I bartended, cooked and waitressed on Thursdays every week. Jack and I met at the Los Ojos and he cared for Mike when I worked at the Legion.
The places to stay really rocked my world as I read a long list. Ustabee that a tent by the river was good...
Places to Stay
Dancing Bear Bed and Breakfast- Charming river retreat off the beaten path from Albuquerque. It has four guest rooms, each with a private bath, TV and VCR. (505) 829-3336 or 1-(800) 422-3271
Desert Willow Bed and Breakfast- On the banks of the Jemez River with beautifully groomed grounds featuring a sculptured garden. The Desert Willow has two rooms and the Dragonfly Cottage next door.(505) 829-3410
Cañon del Rio - guests can leisurely stroll the winding paths to the river. Sit down a spell and enjoy the fresh air. The Cañon del Rio has six air-conditioned rooms each with private baths. An apartment with equipped kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom w/Jacuzzi is available.
Casa Blanca- Fish in your own backyard. Adobe home with vigas and kiva fireplace. Complete kitchen (pots & linens), Sunny master bedroom with queen bed. Riverfront terraced yard, private retreat house. (505) 829-3579
The Laughing Lizard Cafe & Inn- Four individually decorated, comfortable rooms with private bath and shower. Next door enjoy homemade meals- some great vegetarian dishes, traditional to tofu, desserts, and espresso,in the historic adobe Laughing Lizard Cafe. Daily specials. Great place to mingle with friends. (505) 829-3108
Jemez Canyon Inn- Rustic but clean five rooms are available at affordable rates, courtyard with BBQ,fishing hiking, hot springs, nearby. Billy and Don are friendly hosts.(505) 829-3254
The Jemez Mountain Inn- Located in the heart of the village of Jemez Springs, this is the perfect departure point for pleasant day trips to Northern New Mexico's most prized recreational, historical, and scenic sites. Phone: 1-888-819-1075 (Toll Free)
Elk Mountain Lodge- Located north of Jemez Springs in La Cueva, the lodge has five luxury rooms. A very classy romantic hideaway. (505) 829-3159 or 1-(800) 815-2859
La Cueva Lodge- Located north of Jemez Springs the lodge offers 15 modern rooms on the San Antonio River. The lodge offers senior citizen, commercial and winter rates. (505) 829-3814 or 1-(877)-838-3830
Trail's End RV Park- Located 1 mile west of Rte-4 on Hwy-126 La Cueva, Trail's End offers 14 sites in forested setting with full hookups. (505) 829-4072 eMail:
Other Notable Links...
Village of Jemez Springs The "official" web site for the Village of Jemez Springs, New Mexico. Contains events, links, business listings.
Giggling Springs Natural Hot Mineral Water Outdoor Soaking Pool, "Your Destination for Relaxation!". The property and hot springs pool are located along the Jemez River (a natural 'cold plunge'!), in Jemez Springs, New Mexico. The property is the site of the oldest bath house in the area, which was built sometime in the mid to late 1800's. Giggling Springs 40 Abousleman Loop Jemez Springs, NM 87025 (505) 829-9175
A Healing Touch Therapeutic Massage Therapeutic Massage for Women. Specializing in womens wellness. The focus is on relieving chronic pain symptoms in the body and restoring balance. 12 unser Blvd., Suite J Rio Rancho, NM 87124 505.249.1511
So now I am so Psyched to go there and revisit my past with the additions of a better room with a view!
Which one of you readers wants to go too...???

Friday, March 28, 2008

Chicago was fine!

I went and saw and enjoyed... It was a Cinderella experience (in every way but the prince...but then "it takes a mighty good man to be better than no man at all" and my prince was home coughing and being cared for by the other trained cinderella replacement...)

Took the Van Gelder to Chicago and met Renee at Union station. She had a 'satelite direction finding Mabel' and her voice got us to the hotel. We unloaded and checked in. It was a lovely afternoon with soup and later italian fare before going to "Wicked". I loved the show! We had much catching up to do. I knew some of her story and she knew a little of mine but we needed to add all the important factors. So we unloaded our stories and tried to get caught up to the present through each of our tragedies and sagas of heartache and pain. It is good to have a friend and an old friend listens well. We fell into bed and slept like babies in the nice beds there braced by a plethora of pillows!

Day 2 brought us to breakfast on Michigan Ave. followed by long hours of viewing in the Art museum. It was so fun to trek through and then see the special gallery shows of Winslow Homer and Edward Hopper. We went from there to an Irish Pub "Brannigans?" to eat a salad and later walked on back to the hotel. I have not walked that much since I was thinner. Wow my legs are stiff today...later we dressed for the theater and went to dinner (soup and dessert) at one of the fine dining experiences available in the Chicago Hilton. Then "Jersey Boys" was the treat of the night. This play was a musical story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Wow!! Very different from "Wicked" which is the story of Oz before Dorothy. I loved them both.

Today brought us to leaving. We had an elegant breakfast and long time just sharing and being then back up to the room until time to check out. She and "Mabel" delivered me to Union Station and then she and her little black rental car raced off to Crowne Point to be with Ronnie, Amy, Jack and new baby Sawyer who was born last Saturday. It truly was a delight for her to treat me with so many luxuries and beyond. I would love to visit her in S. Cal someday again. She has a house up in the hills with two boston bull terriers and a pool.

Now I am back in Madtown with Tisha and ready to figure out my next move with God's help. I need a miracle bad but this break helped me just breathe and laugh and be for a couple days without the intense stress I am normally under. Yippee for vacations of all types.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Things to be glad about today...

1.) Jesus being raised from the dead!
2.) Jack seems as if he is recovering...
3.) Suzanne is back to work and not throwing up...
4.) Ira is better says Ash
5.) I am in Madison and not still lying in my recliner groaning with aches and pains
6.) Easter is tomorrow and I will see my grandaughter and son and daughter in law as well as Mom/John and so forth
7.) I am going to Chicago on Holiday to see Wicked and Jersey Boys!
8.) 2 days with an old friend will be delightful and so needed right now!
9.) Demetrius is now with what could be an adoptive family where he will have a dad and they are Christians!
10.) I am still afloat somehow though I yet have no answers to the future.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Friday, March 14, 2008

I get more encouragement from those I know!

My daughters are exciting! Jamie is in love and Jessi is digging in to help her Amy and to advance the career. I wish I talked more to my daughter-in-laws but alas they are busy with kinder and such stuff. I thank God for blogs and my space to keep my finger on their pulse a bit. My grandkids are a kick and oh how I miss the ones afar off. Some days they all seem afar off believe me... My sons are being men and that takes most of their energy. Earning a living and relating to their wife and kids is full time work so I make every effort to be thankful when they reach out. I have friends but lately they all seem very preoccupied with survival or their passions. I applaud and move on to the daily life I live. It holds some promise of good days to come. Those promises are what I stand on...

My daughter in law has asked for a few of my fav's

I am thinking about celebrities I really enjoy on this particular Friday. My life is upside down right now and I am glad to think of other things...
I like Meg Ryan because she always looks great and love her funky hair and great facial expressions and I never hated a movie with her in it...
Meg reminds me of the reality of the unsophisticated me inside the whimsical me but of course she is eons younger than me...sigh.

I also like Goldie Hawn. She has been in some classic funny movies and I adore comedy as I think my whole life is a comedy series with small sections of pathos. She is so blonde in nature but has that irreverent edge to her.

Who else do I like? Oh I think Sandra Bullock is wonderful. She also waited for the right rock star to marry. What a woman!

Cruella D'evil comes to mind ...Glenn Close is it? Fantastic! What a woman!

Sophia Loren was my childhood idol and she was always a beauty with some sizzle that I adore.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Golly Miss Molly

The snow date for Amberly's shower came and few attended. We did have fun however in the small group. Jenna and I spent our time and energy creating a wonderful atmosphere for celebrating Amberly and baby Christian to come.
Since that date she had had many contractions and rough moments but no arrival yet. I am sure she would like to hurry this boychild out into the real world. She has many fears and thoughts coming to her but when that boy is in her arms she will perhaps see God's design clearly. Jimmy is doing a pretty good job of encouraging her so Kudos to Jimmy!
This week held the best and worst of things. Mike and Jessica came Sunday with Eliana of course and we had a splendid 2 days due to the freezing rain that fell. The blow-up bed made it possible and I did get pretty good at recliner sleeping this past year so I took a night in my chair. It was fine! I was so tickled to hear Eliana crying herself to sleep "I want to sleep with my gramma!" but it only took a couple times and a few tears til she was in dreamland. It was a fun time. See the pictures! We all went to church for the first start up of the 2X per month evening alternative service. Jessica and Eliana were in the nursery watching Nemo and some other movie and I joined them at half-time. There were about 26 people attending and the coffeehouse atmosphere was kinda different.
I am trying to build a resume and think about what kind of job I really want. I may have to take what I can get but still I want to find what will work for me! I do want a job to be pleasant. I have had fun jobs and then again some were so boring and dull. I like to have a sense of purpose and fill a spot that keeps me thinking and involved. We shall see...I never had to have a resume before. I am old and have had this job for 10+ years. Whew! God is in charge but I am watching and listening so I don't miss the best and end up taking 2nd best.
Jack turned 78 on Friday but I had to come down to work in Madtown so we celebrated on Thursday night. Jenna and I took him to Perkins and after dinner he had Lemon Pie. He thinks it was free because they put a candle in it but no it still cost 2.95. I don't care but he was overheard telling one of the kids that on the phone. I just let it go as it seemed to tickle him so. He didn't get presents as we have a money crunch but dinner was good and we got him some butterscotch hard candies later.
Today Jenna brought him down for the day but he was bored and wanted to go home by evening. He misses his familiar things even though they bore him a bit too. Getting a balance is hard in our situation but we try. After they left Karah, Metrie and I had an art project and we went online and found an artist to copy. It was a kick!
They are now in bed. The house is nearly clean and only a few dishes await. My eyes are drooping. We had an afternoon hairdying session with highlights for myself, Suzanne and Karah. She is probably the only kid her age in school with highlights...and they look sweet! My hair is bad right now but I need a cut and cannot spring for it until I get money for the bills. No one will hire me until I look good so when the resume is done with cover letter then I will count change until I can afford the hairdo for job interviews. Wish me well!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Looks like it is done.

It was sometimes good. Mostly it was what I felt I was supposed to be doing, managing the church office and praying for and with people, helping those who needed it when it was possible and supporting the pastor and his family. Well... it has unraveled and I truly do not know why. I don't want to give too much weight to the enemy or his curses so I come back to maybe God is letting this happen. Yes the enemy wants to squelch the church and drive it to nothing. I look at all those who have left. Are they better off? No. Absolutely not and what is now going to happen to me? It is a real dilemma. I wait to hear from God and He gives me Psalm 11. I am righteous in Christ. I love God and want to serve Him. I am so less than rather than more than but I keep on and never really quit. It is my shining quality I guess. I have compassion and forgive the things others cannot seem to. I recall the covenants I have signed. I am so less than but I have hung on. Now He may take me out to work somewhere else or not. I could get something I like maybe. I have had other jobs that were okay. Maybe a summer job somewhere in the Dells...maybe anything but my heart is not ready for this. I will bounce back. I always do. I have begged and pleaded for God to direct me and He gives me Psalm 11. I cannot fly like a bird to His mountain when my enemies surround me with their bows aiming arrow at me. Which way to go? Which thing to pursue? God help me find my way. This is not just pragmatic, business as usual for me. This is my life and pleasing God matters most. I want to love what He loves and hate what He hates. I want to do the right thing. What is right?
Those that left have abandoned ship. Is is truly sinking or does it need a new crew? Tell me Lord. How do we spread the gospel and touch the hurting with healing. This is America but people here will die and go to hell. It takes 85 people to get one saved...stats so to get Reedsburg saved...the 80% that are not is like 7000 times 85. So much for statistics. I have been so wrapped up in church that I do not know the hurt and dying. I need a lesson in anti christianeze and just get out there and do it. Where do you want me to go Lord? I want to get out of debt and stay healthy too. I want to lose the weight that drags me down and hurts me. I want to find the way for me to go, the way that is best and that Holy Spirit guides me down. Help Lord.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Come steal away with me...

These days my "fun" is mostly in my head and in small moments caught. A "cuppa" here perhaps with a friend or a magazine or a "story" I can sink into for a chapter there or even once in awhile a DVD that I know will transport me to a place I can find something special to experience. I find that reading blogs with the pretties often presented and the words that accompany someones thoughts and form pictures in the readers head. Sigh! I have been transported for a good part of the weekend here with my babies to watch and dishes to wash. I do these things with joy but still the moments I steal when they are busy or asleep before I throw myself into a bit of housekeeping for another, these moments are precious and what an adventure! Visit some on my list and find whimsey or beauty or a new thought to stroke... Have a cuppa with me from a distance and we can share the moments somehow.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Swamp walking...

I am an elder. I have survived my 61 years with God's help and am in the fray as a seasoned veteran of getting through the maze of things designed to take me out. Do you not see the maze?
The medical community though indeed may be individually pristeen and above board but as a whole is a swamp of critters designed to make the industry money and the peons who support it addicted and sickly. The world view is there to tell us God is gone or stupid or vain or out of touch with the new reality. The push is to get us in debt beyond our means then addicted and divided from anything that could save us. I have not escaped wounding. I have a debt that will take me years to bring down without a miracle or some sort. I did not pay attention to the forerunners of the natural heath movement and alternative medicine. I played outside the gate and ran every risk but then at the last moment would hear the siren going off in my head and go for the security of avoiding the status quo, the planned demise of whatever was good or healthy of full of life. So now I spend what money I can on supplements and organic foods and I try to avoid the pitfalls in the murky swamp of heading out of the valley and up the mountain of freedom. Can I ever be truly free? Yes, I can even as free as those prisoners of war who were at the mercy of their captors but never lost the freedom of their mind and their spirit. They could be killed but they couldn't be broken. So that is my mantra to come out of the 60's of my life better than I went in. Watch me try.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Reflections on another loss...

This week we at the church received two letters of resignation from members who felt God is moving them on. Here we are in a fight against the devil to keep the church going and to perhaps keep me employed to do the work that needs done but the fact is the church has suffered from a divisive spirit for a long time. Is this divisive or is this God? Good question and I do not for sure have the answer. It seems like a blow at first but maybe it is totally okay in the grand scheme of things. God knows I don't!
One of the families who left were particularly dear to me as I mentored the wife for years. Looking back on this last year I see her dissatisfaction and their growing need for something else, an unwillingness to do anything at all that required some energy or time or money. So the division spread perhaps to her. I guess she was bitten by the same snake that bit others. Or maybe it just wasn't a good fit anymore for her and her family. Do I have great insight? Maybe not, maybe so...
I saw her since then and was able to look at her and accept that they are gone and still love her dearly. I, however, have no time to regret or grieve as I must just go forward. Basically this is my life. Take it on the chin, allow yourself to feel the pain then regroup and go forward to the best of your ability. I am doing that in my marriage, my home, with my kids, in the church which is by the way my social structure as well as my place of work and where I worship and serve God. Does this loss just plain stink? Yes.... it does but do I have time to sulk? No. Upward and onward to the high calling of God.
What is next? I hope signs and wonders and miracles with many salvations. I hope new energy levels for me and a way to make a living that works and will help me pay down my debt and have some to give away. Continued divine appointments with the Holy Spirit guiding me...lives rebuilt and hearts changed and made new by the power of Jesus Christ. Do I miss those who got tired and wanted their needs filled? Yes, a bit of course. I love them but I release them to God's design and plan and I turn from the window as they walk away and go about the calling on my life. Let each of us work out our salvation with fear and trembling. I want to love what God loves and hate what God hates and keep on growing and serving on the way to becoming an overcomer. Thats all folks!

My Other Blogs

I have discontinued Christmas delights and dilemmas until next season but my "Rainy Days in Wisconsin" is ongoing so pop on my profile and journey into another blog with me.

Friday, February 8, 2008

8 Reasons it is good to be "Moi"!

I read Brenda's blog at Coffee Tea Books and Me and was officially tagged by reading it. So here goes:

1.) I have been a Christian for 33 years (nearly) and my life has never been dull or without purpose and meaning since that time. It still has all the ups and downs of life but with the addition of Jesus Christ as King, Lord, Friend, Savior, Provider, Protector, Healer, and the one who loves me most. Can't beat that!
2.) I have a husband of 33 years and 4 great kids who are now adults. Two of the kids are married and provided me with two smart and loveable daughter-in-laws and then I was graced with 3 precious grandkids who are smart and adorable and I am captivated by them.
3.)God blessed me by stretching the stakes of my tent and I have two adult added kids by virtue of his blessing, Brandy and Anthony. I also have 4 grafted in grandkids...Josh, Lizzie, Micah and pastor's kids. I have also Tisha, Karah, Jordan and "Godkids" and Metrie who is a foster that I want to bless. My quiver is full but God keeps adding!
4.) I have some good and precious lifelong friends...Jeanne, Bonnie, Pam, Sue, Pastor are just a few of them and some in the making now...some will be for a season but some are eternal friends. Making friends is like a weaving project where one is the warp and one the waft...God weaves us together...
5.)I am whimsical and love quirky things. I don't have to go far to find reasons to be happy. I even like myself now that sin doesn't rule me any longer!
6.) I know that I am called to where I am and what I am doing despite the hardships that come with this call. I have been used to help people find freedom from Bondage. It rocks to see them free!
7.) I love music and writing and reading and tea and cooking and entertaining and serving others through hospitality and I find meaning in all this activity even though my identity is in the quiet times with Jesus who fuels my service to others. I love life even in the times where there is no relief from the pain.
8.) I have two dogs who I live with and I really like dogs as they are so forgiving and loyal. I would have more if I could justify it...
Anyone who reads this please leave a comment with a blogsite address and then consider yourself tagged!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Tagging Three with Three!

I am tagging Jamie, Ashley and Amberly for Three Recipes of Delightful Dinners they have had. Any Course will do! They in turn must tag Three and add the rule that those they tag must add one question or request to the tag. Great tagging Folks!
A Delicious Meal is an Easy Meal...
Use your crockery or stoneware and add thick cloth napkins and your everyday stainless utensils. Add ambiance with a centerpiece of fruits and veggies of the winter variety!

1.) Creamy Potato Soup for many:

A half a bag of Idaho taters- peeled and chopped bite size
Put them in a large pan covered with Cold Water & 2 tsp. salt then set them on the burner at medium heat
Chop finely one very large Vidalia Onion or 2 smaller sweet onions...
Chop one bunch of celery with the top leaves fairly small
Scrub and slice thin one small bag of full sized carrots
One Jennie-O Turkey Ham chopped in bite sized bits

Saute (in a large fry pan) the Onion/Celery and one or two cloves of garlic in a small amount of olive oil and sprinkle with Cayenne pepper lightly as you stir. When the onion gets a slight translucent look add to the potatoes. When the whole mess is nicely simmering add the Turkey Ham. When all is cooked through add one can of evaporated milk or soy milk ( original not vanilla) to make a creamy soup. You can then make a roue by putting 3 tbsp EVOO in that same fry pan and add enough flour to make a thick paste (can be soy/rice or spelt flour if need be) and brown it just a teensy then add while stirring vigorously with a wisk to the soup and it should thicken slightly. Taste and add more salt to suit and additional cayenne pepper. It should be slightly spicey but not overwhelm the palate. Serve this soup with crusty bread/biscuits or crackers even corn bread is nice.

2.) Venison Stew

Can use beef if need be...
Take small pieces of tenderloin ( 1+ pound) and dredge in flour then saute in EVOO at a medium heat.
Chop veggies that suit you but it must have 1 cup chopped onions and at least that much finely chopped celery. I like Carrots/butternut squash/Celery/Parsnips/zuchinni or whatever suits to equal 3 more cups veggies. {I prefer not adding cabbage type veggies to this particular stew. The flavor is just not compatible.} Cook the entire stew with plenty of liquid ( organic beef broth is nice) and spices to taste. A bay leaf is nice but pull it out before serving and salt pepper and cayenne in moderation. Garlic is so healthy and adds flavor as well. When veggies and meat simmering nicely add brown rice ( 1 cup or as it seems right. It will triple in size) and let simmer for 45-50 more minutes. Serve with home made whole grain bread and butter!

3.) Beef Roast with Veggies

This is great for cooking while at church or out for several hours. Choose a nice Chuck Roast of high quality about 3 pounds or a roast you particularly like and braise it in a bit of oil. It should be browned on all sides. (Note: Even round Steak can be pounded and rolled up to roast size but only braise after rolling and tying with string. Use your creativity!) Put in oven at 350 in a roaster with 1 1/2 cup hot water and pepper the top nicely. Cover, after 1 hour or more if roast is larger then add veggies. Red potatoes, carrots, parsnips, onion make a wonderful addition and the onions if smaller can be peeled and left whole or sliced in quarters if larger. Do not chop veggies unless they are very thick carrots then slice in half but leave long. (Don't ever use the baby carrots as they have little flavor for roasting.) Roast at 350 for 1 and 1/2 more hours or if you are to be gone longer this can all be put in the slow cooker and it will be tasty and nice. Pop in some rolls to serve with this meal and don't forget the horseradish on the side or Ketchup if you have kids! The broth makes a pleasant gravy to ladel over the veggies on your plate.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Hats I Have to speak

so my daughter in law put up a list of 4 jobs she held and which she liked best; I am going for 14 minimum after all I am older: These are my for pay jobs...
1.) Avon Lady/Mary Kay Lady
2.) Model Home Hostess
3.) Go-Go Dancer
4.) Food Waitress
5.) Bar Maid
6.) Cleaning Lady
7.) Nanny/Housekeeper
8.) Assnt. Manager of Shoe store
9.) Giftshop/Coffeebar Attendant
10.) Grocery Clerk
11.) Factory Worker
12.) Church Secretary
13.) Mineral Spa Bath Attendant
14.) Cook/Bartender
I liked each job enough to keep it awhile but Church Secretary and Giftshop/Coffeebar attendant are my favorite ones to date...
Soon I may add a new one who can tell???

Sometimes Life Comes at You Hard!

I have been "ready" for almost anything but yesterday I found myself knocked flat. I have had every kind of thing happen to me this last year I thought. Oh how wrong I was. This one took my heart and pierced it though. I am bleeding inside. No sleep for me. Is it about me? Only that I want to honor God and see my kids honor God and know His character so much that they do not want to disappoint Him or be seperated from Him. I know the scriptures well from many years of studying and reading. It cannot be twisted to convince me to make black into white. I am sad and devestated but my love is even stronger than before...for Him and for them. The Lost is floundering in error and pain seeking pleasure of any kind to find relief and they need Jesus more than breath or money or sobriety or food or their hearts desire... and this thing I just went through teaches me again that it is all about the Kingdom of God. NOW!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

A Contest and Great Food Blog!

A Cowboy’s Wife is having a contest on her food blog! You can win a Hamilton Beach® Stand Mixer and she’ll ship anywhere so everyone is eligible!

Go on and look see the whole deal and you will want to enter too!

Food and contests go together!

Rules for Entertaining from "4 Reluctant Entertainers"

#1 Hospitality is not only a gift I have but a gift I give. Be passionate about it! #2 Organization and planning ahead: Know Thy Recipe! Have a plan! Makes lists! Experience the power of delegation! #3 Set the mood with your specific style of music, lighting or candles. When in doubt, ask your guests to bring their favorite music. #4 Perfectionism is a robber. Lower your expectations. Your guests do not expect perfection and neither should you. #5 Ignite conversation by planning ahead of time 2 or 3 specific questions and topics of conversation for your guests. #6 Transform your home or meal with thrifty ways and low-cost ideas. Make garage sales and thrift or dollar stores part of your errand ritual. #7 Apologizing for a perceived error in your meal just draws attention to you and pulls away from the enjoyment of the meal. #8 Be yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others, but create your own style. #9 Learning - always be willing to try new things. Use the Internet or library, along with your favorite cookbooks, for recipes and unique ideas. Try new recipes on your family first. #10 Expect life-changing impact! Those who feed people lead people.
Go to '4 Reluctant Entertainers' for examples on how to incorporate these commandments into a successful dinner party for 17 adults and 15 kids or just when unexpected company drops in at dinner time. Whee! This blog is excellent!
My house is too small to even hold many but I am having Pastor, Sue and their 4 kids over for a holiday time together delayed by our schedules and responsibilites but held in place by our caring for one another. Jenna may be present also for this time. So I have a few rearrangements to do when I find a minute (an evening actually should do it!) and I want to use these wonderful rules to capitalize on the opportunity to show hospitality and enjoy my guests.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Trying to Stay in the Resolute Mode

I made some resolutions and then all hell broke loose, so every temptation to let it all go has ocurred and to tell the truth it has kept me from living tight but not deterred me from the intentions or the goals. I have many things to consider as I try to walk a walk of self-discipline. I need to stay steady and focused even in the sight of my life. I am so grateful for God's help and the people around me as well. Every test has an end but it does seem there are a lot of tests. Jack is falling a lot and his memory is worse and worse. I wonder what would happen if Jenna was employed and away from the house for long stretches? He fell tonight (they always report in) and it took Heather and Jenna to get him up. He was pinned under the rocking chair and he said he just went to pick up his hankie off the floor next to his recliner. The rocker is across the room. It all seems a bit much but I don't want to put him in a nursing home if there is any way to keep him from it. He is happier at home being crabby than he is living in a nice nursing home and feeling lonely and rejected. I just hope it works. I resolve to keep trying to get healthy and make this mess work!

Friday, January 11, 2008

I am so Thankful!

Last night it was prophecied that some of the ones I have poured into and mentored over the years are thinking about some of the things I said to them, and that I am to keep praying and believing that they will return to Christ. I thought about some broken relationships, some of them my fault because I said too much and others from the aspect that they just didn't want to walk the walk.
Today I got a call from Anthony and it was a repair of the big breach and I cried and was so grateful for the restoration of the relationship. I am overjoyed and thanking God for hearing my prayers and healing our relationship. I hope to see him this summer and his little boy of 8 months...Xaiden. Rejoice! This is better than winning the lottery! I love that young man.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

A Seldom Cry

I spent a while crying off and on today and still the tears are there. I am truly grieving the loss of LaValle. The space, the rooms to invite folks to stay or to just have privacy, the lack of expense each month but mostly the memories that rang from the walls going way back to my babyhood...I am trying not to be angry at the cause of the lost but it is sometimes hard again. Just when I thought I was over it something triggered a new wave of sadness. I also grieve that the people around me see me flat. Flat Lynda that is it. She will be there so just unfold her and ask her to be solid and the same. I fell not even misunderstood but more like wallpaper than ever. No one really knows what goes on and the pressures I am feeling but yet they say "Why didn't you try for that library job I gave you an application for?" and they say it in a public meeting as my insurance is taken away. They suggest that my choice of helping Suzanne with the kids is somehow inferior to another plan. Perhaps so but it is still my choice and my reasons are solid. I did say "I am unable to fit that type of inflexible job in at present with the demands on me and in making sure my husband is safe and cared for in my home." but WAAAAAAH! It is so hard to have someone you think is a friend try to manage you.

Swiss Cheese!

I forgot that I get bad headaches from too much swiss cheese and last night I ate just that...too much swiss cheese and a lot of ice cream too. Had to get rid of it so I could start my new healthy eating program...well I got the headache and a bellyache too. Serves me right for thinking it would be a fond farewell. I seem to remember getting nicotine poisoned before I quit smoking so maybe this is actually, 'groan'. a good thing...