In between having a nervous breakdown and drinking gin/tonic in my car late at night while I listen to Books on CD to avoid going in and dealing with more nagging and questions and other trivia that occurs when I have a huge issue going on, but that is another story; meanwhile I have shopped for Beck and compiled a small box of goodies which I will soon send. Some of the things I am not sending are electronic toys or DVD's. No expensive goodies or new toys that will soon lay on the basement floor or in a toy box to never be played with again. I wish I could see him open it but of course that might be impossible seeing as how I am tied down and broke for awhile.
My helper Miss Jenna is in Love with a certain bakers man named Francois and she started school. She is fixed up and set up and able to do it so I wish her the best possible. I want to see her succeed and to have a vocation which does not tax her physically unstable body too much. She has problems every day, a pain, a headache, a back that goes out, her neck is stiff, her bowels are stirred up, her temper is hot or she is hurt by someone's remarks. Sigh. I hardly remember what it is like to be nearly 30. Maybe I was like that. I suspect not but maybe...I had already drank and lived way too hard, only accepting Christ at 29 and slowly leaving behind the cigarettes and nearly all the hoochie pop and other pain medications too numerous to mention. Jesus and my kids became my center and I worked the program well. Sadly but predictably, they are all grown and gone and my life is smaller again... Jesus didn't leave thank God! He never will!
But oh well my precious offspring go on, live your lives..., I shall soon be able to begin my book and paint my masterpiece. My room is nearly organized. My masterpieces and manuscripts may be full of memories and concepts I have learned and a whole lot of nonsense as that amuses me but they will be mine. Lewis Carroll was after all quite nonsensical and we are still reading "Alice"! As I write there are 6 kids in my peripheral, one 2 month old in my lap taking a bottle while I type one handed. One thing is lacking but I shall leave that to your guesswork.