I have not been this jumpy and tormented since I was asked to play a part in a drama of an abusive mother. That time I flipped out when I was on the way home. It was dangerous for me and today was sorta like that. Cannot completely explain but I am not going to take the job at Kwik Trip and I must tell them ASAP. I may not take any job that is regimented or where I feel trapped (not by my pain or by the job constraints). I would rather gather weeds to eat. At least that is fun. My life is so stressful right now that I just know if I step out just for the money that I will be in line for a breakdown of some kind. Physical usually goes for me...but feature what kind of crazy I could be. That is a picture. I am still looking for a very part time job for a couple days a week that is right for me!
I long for some kinda freedom and some kind of fun. I loved my job at the church and it offered variety. That is my best feature. I transition well for variety! I ask for your prayers that I might get through all this and do better physically, mentally, and emotionally ... plus maybe some financial perks as well! I wait and watch.
Becoming.... one day at a time
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