Tuesday, November 18, 2008

From the Basement to the Attic

I crawled into the tub with my book "Do You Think I'm beautiful?" by Angela Thomas. Before I was done I reached an awareness that I had become someone I never wanted to be and it was my choice to call out to God and ask Him to change it. I called out and today was better. I am realizing that I have been disobedient in an area and though Heavenly Father has been very faithful and kind to me...waiting for me to realize where I had gone in my pain. I had left my first love...not completely but turned away and stopped seeking. What I have done to survive in my home I have done to my Saviour and Lord as well. Go through the motions the feelings may come back later but for now just keep on keeping on has been my mantra.
I do not want to be less that in a vital alive active relationship with my God. I want to be in the word daily, praying and prophecying, doing service as I am led, obedient in my finances as well as in the church and community and home.
My tears are real and my repentance is real and I fear the thing that so often happens between the knowing and the doing...looking into the mirror then walking away and forgetting what I look like. I so long to instantly obey. I want to trust God in every area and plug my ears to the world's voices.
I still want to be able to get past my circumstances and to put my life on the life every day. Either God is real every day and in all the ways He claims or else it is a fairy tale and I know it is real so I want to walk in the reality of my faith. Putting feet to my faith every day. Yes!
So the deal is this: I feel renewed and refreshed. I now want to be refueled and revived and I am going to do my part to see that in my life. God is good and I trust him so I want others to see that I really do in the small choices or the huge life changing ones. It is all the same.
Am now in the attic (emotionally) with my Bible in my hand. I am going forward with my Redeemer!
Thanks for your prayers and please do not stop. The Baldwin household needs God and His Mercy and Grace in every area of life.

Monday, November 17, 2008

It is very nearly time to think about Christmas!

I have no energy for the season.

My heart got broke awhile back and the mending happens in surges and lulls.

This is a lull.

I love a party, want everything beautiful and inviting. My doll house is over-run with people and now the mice have moved in too. I feel invaded and crowded out. Too much to do and to little manpower to do it. I may not even make it to Christmas with any mistletoe and holly. A Tree? Oh not that mess. Where will I put the tree this year. There is not room except on the deck. There won't be any presents to physically put under it but that doesn't matter as much as the idea of celebrating. Sigh. Maybe some cheese for the mice and a kerchief for the dog...

Sickness has invaded. Came in the Jenna door and hopefully will go out the Lyndee window. I want to be well to drive to Nashville for Thanksgiving.

Someone sent me a picture of a brain this morning. I knew I lost something but where is it now...my mind that is. Is the temper in the mind. I lost that too. Oh shucks, the sense of humor went too.

So, hopefully you will read this and realize that I am coming to the end of my enthusiasm and overcoming spirit and please pray I get some kind of renewal, refuelling and refreshing. I need energy and my sense of humor restored plus for my head, back and feet to stop hurting. Did I mention my neck and both wrists? (Just a touch from you will help Lord). So readers pray for Grammaninners to be restored to vibrancy and vigor.

Thanks much!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Update on Jack

Jack went in for a ultrasound on his kidney this week and the report came back. He does have a cyst but it is normal and no problemo! His pain is gone also from the big sneeze last week. Much ado about that ah...choo!

We are thankful for your prayers!

A New Hairdo and A New Puppy

I am a die hard lover of change. When Jack would leave for the rig I would begin a project to move us from room to room or just rearrange the place. I love to do different things with my hair and am never afraid to try out a new style even if it is radical. In the 60's and 70's I did the Afro and wore a military coat. I dyed it many colors but not at once until the 90's. I only went lavender for a few days. Now I get a perm every few years it seems and this week was my siren call. I made a few extra dollars and was toying with getting my head almost shaved if it hadn't become possible to get the dreaded Perm. I am once again curly topped. It is so new I still smell like a perm. I look forward to growing out my fair and royal locks again and this perm thing helps me get through some awkward stages. I know I will get some yeah's and some nay's but it is okay as I never stay the same way for long.

Speaking of new smells we gave Karah's new puppy Prince a bath this morning. He smells much better now alas it will not last. We will no doubt have to dunk Prince often. Prince is a yellow lab with an English pedigree. He is roly poly with needle teeth and very loveable and sweet. Karah does a great deal of the work of taking care of him but the rest of us fill in when we can help. This yellow lab is darker than Sasha which is my son's yellow lab. I love the temperment and am glad to be around some of the time to watch this little fella grow up. So far Tish and the baby do not like this pup because he licks them and nibbles on their fingers and toes with his needle like teeth. The rest of us don't really like being chewed either but we are learning to distract him and give him a toy when he does that. He is doing well on being potty trained or maybe we are doing well at remembering to take him out often and right after he gobbles his food.

This Monday is Karah's 8th birthday. She is excited but has a cough. So today is slowdown and stay home day to try to get well. We may even try a bath with the vapors later on. Eliana is here and even had a bit of a nap. She seems to have leg aches like I did when I was growing. I rubbed them and helped her get warm to try to ease the pain. My gramma rubbed my legs for hours sometimes. She was a peach! I also have the baby and Tisha and Canary and Demetrius. Later maybe Peggy will drop by with Jordan and Lewcie. I am completely exhausted from a night with puppy and baby and my own back giving me fits. I think I slept 4 hours and paced quietly taking Nsaids. Life has it's moments of trial. For me 6 days a week.

I may post a picture of what the house looks like and I have been right behind them all day. Sigh. After they hit the sack I can whirlwind around and make it nice and try to sleep a bit more so my sabbath does not succeth!