Friday, October 19, 2007

Mind Blown Read

Came down to work in Madtown and S handed me a written clinical interview with Tisha and Metries' mom and various professionals to determine her ability to mother. I never read such a tale of woe before. This lady (mere 22) has every reason to be nutty as a fruitcake and she is hanging on to the sanity she does have for dear life. Her daddy was shot by mama's boyfriend in front of her when she was young young and she remembers as they were arguing over which one was actually her biological father. When she was 10, living in the projects in Chicago, her mama was arrested and went to jail for 5 years for battery and reckless endangerment after stabbing a man. She went to her mama's relatives who proceeded to abuse her terribly and treat her and her brother very poorly. She witnessed her uncles murder while in the back seat of a truck in an attempted carjacking. A cousin got shot while trying to protect her from attack. Later another cousin was physically attacked while walking with her. She was threatened and beat up 3 girls who were harassing her for no reason and later they came into her gramma's house and shot it up and her little niece was shot and died as she ran into her arms. This is all before high school. I cannot go on.

My heart breaks for this young woman. I have spent time with her and she is trying to be upbeat and positive as a cover up for a whole big ball of pain...I love her daughter Tisha and believe that S is the right home for this child and that her mama couldn't possibly protect her and raise the other two when she is a felon and finds it very difficult to find and keep jobs. Homes are illusive when you cannot pay the rent. Metrie and his mama are close, she is more like a big sister to him I think but she loves him and there is another daughter who is presently with the bio-dad a lot while mom is homeless and without sufficient employment to qualify to keep them. Metrie needs a stable home so badly. This is sad...oh so sad!

If it were possible to help this young woman she would be one to help and I believe would benefit from the help. As it is a no win. The worst part of it is that during another really hard thing with a dying boyfriend she was reading the Bible and listening to Christian tv and it turned bad. She now cannot seem to pick up or read the Bible as she blames God for the loss in her life. Her list of pain is so long that it boggles my mind.

She needs a man in her life at all times as it gives her value. She is best friends with her mom and her social circle is tiny. She reflects the views of the few people she spends time with and I wonder if she has opinions of her own...maybe a few caused by the pain of her life. She is a realist so there is no fantasy world in her head to escape to. Where does she go to find any peace?

No, daughters do not worry I will not take her in. My house is overful with those who have problems enough with less reason. I cannot walk away from this story without praying for this woman and thanking God that I survived my raisin' and came to know God and not to reject Him. God will have to walk into her life and touch her for her to come out of what has happened to her. I give her credit for staying alive. I am not going to hold her mothering skills against her. God knows and I cannot fathom it at all. Very seldom do I find myself so struck with the violence and the horror of a life. My mind is blown.

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