I have been doing a wild kind of dance lately. I am trying to please God and get along with people in my life. I am trying to support my pastor in circumstances that are way different from a year ago. I see the foundation of my life is sure but there are some areas of clutter and debris that I have created. I can only blame myself for my credit card bills. There was an alternative but I just forged ahead living like I previously had when I had been making more money. The bills came in higher and higher but I kept thinking it would end, that somehow it would even out and I would find a way to make it better. I trusted God but forgot that trusting Him would mean not using the credit cards. What a dilemma to be in. I used American wisdom to walk out God's will and it just didn't work well. Thinking back I can see a clear path of humility that would have been required to try to avoid the pitfalls of debt and pride. Why do I learn things the hard way after so much opportunity to change. I am dancing in the desert just like the Israelites.
I also am doing a dance in personal relationships. It is sometimes a dance of anger but usually just a square dance with calls coming in that I am unsure how to interpret. I am bravely trying to find my feet in so many areas. Help oh Lord. I want to do it right. I want to be an encourager but not an enabler.
It is true that things change and I love a bit of change but the times when you cannot see where to put your foot next are hard. So those of you out there who can understand that I am repenting, resolving and breaking the habits of the past in the midst of transition in my own life and economic stress in the nation as well as in my budget please pray for me to forge new habits that bring a blessing. I thought I had a sure plan and I thought it was God's plan but at present all that is unsure in what can be seen. I have prayed and am praying and I read the word searching for God's will for now here in the situation I am currently in. I am ready to rebuild with tools in one hand and weapons of war in the other just as in Nehemiah's time of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. I want the opportunity to do that very thing. There are looming threats to the church and delays to the classes I would need to fulfill qualifications as the 'Day Care Manager' to the day care we have projected to do at the church. Still there is hope as money comes in to fix the basement. I pray together with others at the church on Tuesdays and the hope is confirmed in the scriptures all are getting as they pray. Whew. I am sweating as I try and do this dance. I actually had a panic attack this morning. That will never do. How can I remember the dance if I am melting down? I am going to have to take time at the altar this week and find security in God even when I do not see it. He has a plan and I want to join Him where He is working.
Becoming.... one day at a time
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Guilty!
I must admit that my home is not completely comfortable for me. Maybe no home is but the fact is I am really just living out each day in hopes that it will somehow get easier. I watch for ideas that would bring about a better resolve.
The house is too small. Jenna has more classes and she needs quiet at all times. When she is sleeping, working, reading, on the computer and when watching television. Her desk is in the living room and she does homework 24-7 when at home. She does do occasional other things but the fact is homework is pressing on her constantly. If only we had a room for her with a door. I am so cognizant of the limitations of the house.
We are all so different. Jenna hates bright lights. I tend to like them. I like the sound of the dogs nails on the tiles. I like to wear heels that click or clack on tiles. I actually used to put metal tips on the heels of all my boots. Now moccasins are fine for creeping though the woods after glimpses of animals but I am able to rock out to loud music and clink a spoon and slam a door. I sing and wail and cry loud. Life is in technicolor for me and also stereo! I do not like music on while I sleep. I like silence at night but nightlights to mark my path and Jack's to the bathroom and the water glass. We are all so different.
Jack needs to exercise more as he is getting weaker. It is only possible for him to go to the bathroom from the bedroom or the kitchen table at present. It will be possible for him to go into the living room and around the circle also when Jenna is in school. She does have 14 credits and many of them are 1 or 2 credit classes. She also will be working 14 hours a week at the school. She is trying very hard to get her area cleaned up and spruced up so it will be more orderly and useable. Jenna does want Jack to exercise more. We just need to make it possible.
My personal area is trashed since Christmas and I desperately need time to do all that is in my mind to do. I feel so stressed and irritated. I need alone time. I want to start an eating program and exercise program and initiate a budget that is trackable. All this takes time. I feel like I am running in circles with the responsibilites and the daily curves that come my way. Whew!
Now this brings up a question that has been brought to my attention. Is blogging like journaling?
Why am I writing this out for the blogworld to read? I am real and real problems happen and I need to get my thinking wrapped around the problems so I can see a way through to walk a solution or stretch my thinking to accept the way things have to be until a change can happen.
I am not mad at anyone or trying to renig on anything I agreed to do. I do need to assess how it is working and if it is still equitable. That is always a constant flux. It goes on in marriages, parenting and friendships but oh my how it goes on in complex situations of mixed and unmeasureable committment!
So, is it acceptable for a blogger to air their personal struggles on the net? Yes, in my personal opinion. I am accusing no one... only working out my thinking. I like to follow reality shows so this is a reality blog. Get over it if you disagree. It only takes a click to move to a more desireable site.
Am I in hopes someone not associated with my or my personal life will happen on this blog and have a word of wisdom? Miracles happen so it could happen but actually what I love about writing this blog is the insight it gives me when I go back and re-read it. Sometimes I get that illusive aha moment. Now that makes it all worth it!
Excuse me while I turn up the volume and turn on all the lights. I feel like dancing here in the southland where I have some space to move! I will continue to blog and dance and sing. I will survive!
The house is too small. Jenna has more classes and she needs quiet at all times. When she is sleeping, working, reading, on the computer and when watching television. Her desk is in the living room and she does homework 24-7 when at home. She does do occasional other things but the fact is homework is pressing on her constantly. If only we had a room for her with a door. I am so cognizant of the limitations of the house.
We are all so different. Jenna hates bright lights. I tend to like them. I like the sound of the dogs nails on the tiles. I like to wear heels that click or clack on tiles. I actually used to put metal tips on the heels of all my boots. Now moccasins are fine for creeping though the woods after glimpses of animals but I am able to rock out to loud music and clink a spoon and slam a door. I sing and wail and cry loud. Life is in technicolor for me and also stereo! I do not like music on while I sleep. I like silence at night but nightlights to mark my path and Jack's to the bathroom and the water glass. We are all so different.
Jack needs to exercise more as he is getting weaker. It is only possible for him to go to the bathroom from the bedroom or the kitchen table at present. It will be possible for him to go into the living room and around the circle also when Jenna is in school. She does have 14 credits and many of them are 1 or 2 credit classes. She also will be working 14 hours a week at the school. She is trying very hard to get her area cleaned up and spruced up so it will be more orderly and useable. Jenna does want Jack to exercise more. We just need to make it possible.
My personal area is trashed since Christmas and I desperately need time to do all that is in my mind to do. I feel so stressed and irritated. I need alone time. I want to start an eating program and exercise program and initiate a budget that is trackable. All this takes time. I feel like I am running in circles with the responsibilites and the daily curves that come my way. Whew!
Now this brings up a question that has been brought to my attention. Is blogging like journaling?
Why am I writing this out for the blogworld to read? I am real and real problems happen and I need to get my thinking wrapped around the problems so I can see a way through to walk a solution or stretch my thinking to accept the way things have to be until a change can happen.
I am not mad at anyone or trying to renig on anything I agreed to do. I do need to assess how it is working and if it is still equitable. That is always a constant flux. It goes on in marriages, parenting and friendships but oh my how it goes on in complex situations of mixed and unmeasureable committment!
So, is it acceptable for a blogger to air their personal struggles on the net? Yes, in my personal opinion. I am accusing no one... only working out my thinking. I like to follow reality shows so this is a reality blog. Get over it if you disagree. It only takes a click to move to a more desireable site.
Am I in hopes someone not associated with my or my personal life will happen on this blog and have a word of wisdom? Miracles happen so it could happen but actually what I love about writing this blog is the insight it gives me when I go back and re-read it. Sometimes I get that illusive aha moment. Now that makes it all worth it!
Excuse me while I turn up the volume and turn on all the lights. I feel like dancing here in the southland where I have some space to move! I will continue to blog and dance and sing. I will survive!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
The Drama and The Mundane
New Years Day brought a visit from Jenna's on-line friend Michael. They arrived from the airport at 7:40 PM and I had a lovely dinner prepared. Jack was very hungry and ready for bed but he managed to wait it out and was cordial and pleasant to Michael. Michael was born in Ghana and lived there til he was 9 but later was educated in London and later attended college in Holland. He is a Micro-biologist who is now in Deleware entering his Master's Program. His plans are to specialize in Genetics and get his Doctorate as well. This young man is goal directed in all areas of his life. He spent New Years Eve at a Watch-Night Service at his church. He wanted to start the year out with God.
After a repast of Roast Beef, Salad and Roasted Vegetables we passed a plate of Christmas goodies and served a cuppa tea. It was a pleasant meal. Then Jenna called Amberly and Jimmy to join us and meet Michael. That was perfect. Nothing like a darling baby boy to break the ice and get the smiles going. Jack was humorous Texas style and I grinned and poked him several times as he used me as straight lady. Christian won Michael's heart and we could see he is good with children. Conversation at the table had included the american public schools and how he finds them lacking compared to the ones in London where his cousins are being educated presently.
He seemed an interesting sort of fellow. I wondered what the short visit would decide for the two of them but even as he got on the plane tonight I am completely in the dark as to the nature of their time together and what it might have come to. It doesn't matter actually as I feel time is the best matchmaker in many cases. We all can meet and enjoy others in the Kingdom of God and realize that we are not alone in the world! I found it encouraging on a personal level.
My heart is still broken for the backsliders I love and want to see return to the Kingdom.
As Israel is engaged in warfare on the Gaza Strip I am watching the sky. Jesus could return any day!
After a repast of Roast Beef, Salad and Roasted Vegetables we passed a plate of Christmas goodies and served a cuppa tea. It was a pleasant meal. Then Jenna called Amberly and Jimmy to join us and meet Michael. That was perfect. Nothing like a darling baby boy to break the ice and get the smiles going. Jack was humorous Texas style and I grinned and poked him several times as he used me as straight lady. Christian won Michael's heart and we could see he is good with children. Conversation at the table had included the american public schools and how he finds them lacking compared to the ones in London where his cousins are being educated presently.
He seemed an interesting sort of fellow. I wondered what the short visit would decide for the two of them but even as he got on the plane tonight I am completely in the dark as to the nature of their time together and what it might have come to. It doesn't matter actually as I feel time is the best matchmaker in many cases. We all can meet and enjoy others in the Kingdom of God and realize that we are not alone in the world! I found it encouraging on a personal level.
My heart is still broken for the backsliders I love and want to see return to the Kingdom.
As Israel is engaged in warfare on the Gaza Strip I am watching the sky. Jesus could return any day!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Christmas in WI
It is officially Boxing Day as I write early in the morning with Jack beside me drinking his coffee and trying to be quiet. We are in Madtown and all the rest are sleeping. The puppy woke me to go outside at 7:30 and I stayed up to download pictures and blog. Jack found me and here we are. Our Christmas was full and really an okay one. We had Amberly and Jimmy over for dinner on the 24th with entertainment by their baby Christian. I chose a simple menu of roast beef and veggies with a salad and yet was very tired just before they arrived. A few moments in a recliner to totally relax and I was up and full of vim and vigor for the holiday. We enjoyed good conversation with our food and then raced off to the Christmas eve service at the church. I do love that church and the candlelight service with Petersons and part of the congregation was just the ticket for a blessed Christmas. It is the one thing I really hate to miss on Christmas.
Home in the frosty air to open gifts with Amberly and Jimmy before they went off to the next celebration. We had been invited to Clark and Sue's but honestly by 9:30 I had gifts to wrap and dishes that needed doing so I texted my regrets and helped Jack go to bed. I finally fell in by midnight. Morning came and we had a special breakfast for just Jack, Jenna and I, packed the car to travel and opened our gifts for one another. Jack got me the 'MamaMia' DVD!
Soon it was time to leave. Jack and I waved bye to Jenna and came down to S's. I fixed a good soup with the chicken leftovers from the annual Quam open house she holds each year. Peggy and the girls came over and we had a feast. She brought a cherry cranberry pie and made the best corn muffins to go with the soup. It was a zoo but a fun one. S is still down with the nasty cold. I am a few days ahead of her in recovery so she has not voice and it is in her chest. I am still nasally and stuffed up but otherwise functioning. (No one else has it. Yeah!) Soup was good for both of us.
The dishes were done by 10 and the pup walked the last time by 12. A good night for me! Peggy and the girls got me a manicure set and some tasty goodies. Suzanne and Karah got me Burt's Bees stuff. Nice!
Today we look forward to going to mom's for a celebration and meal. Tomorrow back to Reedsburg where I still have some preparation for Life Connections class on Sunday and some chickens to cook for a time with Mike and Jessica on Sunday at their apartment. I have gifts and Jack is looking forward to getting to watch Eliana open hers. Kids are such a kick! Little Christian is a favorite of ours and he was so pleasant on Christmas eve and even slept through the candlelight service. I am so grateful for Ash sharing the pictures on Snapfish of their holiday. I felt somehow a part of it. I have been at her mom's house so the pictures were a good reminder of her pleasant and warm hospitality and decorating style. It is good to know the "in-laws"!
Our Christmas celebration time would not be complete without a time with the Peterson family and we look forward to that meal and melee of gifts for the kids on Tuesday evening at 5. I feel fortunate to have them in my life and nearby. I am a sort of grammy to them.
Test messages floated in through my day yesterday and I got a "Merry Christmas" from Ira, Jams and Jess plus some from friends as well. All in all (without obsessing on the seperation from my kids by distance) I am pleased with this Christmas. I will not let myself go into what I lack but concentrate on the many blessings I can count this Christmas and every day when I choose to sit to write my gratitude list. Merry Christmas to you all and God Bless!
Home in the frosty air to open gifts with Amberly and Jimmy before they went off to the next celebration. We had been invited to Clark and Sue's but honestly by 9:30 I had gifts to wrap and dishes that needed doing so I texted my regrets and helped Jack go to bed. I finally fell in by midnight. Morning came and we had a special breakfast for just Jack, Jenna and I, packed the car to travel and opened our gifts for one another. Jack got me the 'MamaMia' DVD!
Soon it was time to leave. Jack and I waved bye to Jenna and came down to S's. I fixed a good soup with the chicken leftovers from the annual Quam open house she holds each year. Peggy and the girls came over and we had a feast. She brought a cherry cranberry pie and made the best corn muffins to go with the soup. It was a zoo but a fun one. S is still down with the nasty cold. I am a few days ahead of her in recovery so she has not voice and it is in her chest. I am still nasally and stuffed up but otherwise functioning. (No one else has it. Yeah!) Soup was good for both of us.
The dishes were done by 10 and the pup walked the last time by 12. A good night for me! Peggy and the girls got me a manicure set and some tasty goodies. Suzanne and Karah got me Burt's Bees stuff. Nice!
Today we look forward to going to mom's for a celebration and meal. Tomorrow back to Reedsburg where I still have some preparation for Life Connections class on Sunday and some chickens to cook for a time with Mike and Jessica on Sunday at their apartment. I have gifts and Jack is looking forward to getting to watch Eliana open hers. Kids are such a kick! Little Christian is a favorite of ours and he was so pleasant on Christmas eve and even slept through the candlelight service. I am so grateful for Ash sharing the pictures on Snapfish of their holiday. I felt somehow a part of it. I have been at her mom's house so the pictures were a good reminder of her pleasant and warm hospitality and decorating style. It is good to know the "in-laws"!
Our Christmas celebration time would not be complete without a time with the Peterson family and we look forward to that meal and melee of gifts for the kids on Tuesday evening at 5. I feel fortunate to have them in my life and nearby. I am a sort of grammy to them.
Test messages floated in through my day yesterday and I got a "Merry Christmas" from Ira, Jams and Jess plus some from friends as well. All in all (without obsessing on the seperation from my kids by distance) I am pleased with this Christmas. I will not let myself go into what I lack but concentrate on the many blessings I can count this Christmas and every day when I choose to sit to write my gratitude list. Merry Christmas to you all and God Bless!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
This Christmas is different but still lovely..
I always love the trappings of a celebration and am ready at the drop of a hat to make a bit of a party out of life. Any excuse and why not the celebration of the greatest Gift God ever gave to man. The ribbon on that package is still around me to remind me of the preciousness of that gift. No, I didn't always treat the gift as precious. I even took it for granted from time to time. But this year my heart is so grateful for the glory of God touching mankind with Jesus' birth and life and death on the cross and resurrection. My Lord in the morning this is truly the most awesome event in all of history and nothing compares. In my case it is very personal and vivid. I came out of darkness into the light. I came from pain and misery to joy and unconditional love. Wow!
So if I diverge forgive me. My salvation is still fresh in my heart and mind.
The tree is up and the decorations are lovely. The lights twinkle and shine and every other night they greet me as I stumble to the bathroom or to get a drink and I am so comforted at the representation of new life in Christ for me, an undeserving but oh so appreciative sinner saved by grace. I like the giving of gifts as a small token of what I have been given. I like thinking of all the people I love and preparing a small gift for them that I hope blesses them.
The feasting at holiday time is a fine thing. No matter what the feast is be it a chicken or a rolled rib roast with trimmings. Eating with friends that supper of celebration together bringing another year to a close and looking forward to the time that Jesus comes back. I love my Lord so much and seldom blog big words about it but tonight in the presence of many children and a dear friend with a cold I am so aware of my joy. The snow is blowing and swirling. The puppy is learning to sit. The gas fireplace suddenly began to work and it is sleepover night at S's house. Girls are singing little silly chants and the boys are cleaning the basement.Tish is a sleeping and the baby not far behind. Canary is snoring already as she was watching the boys clean and fell sound asleep. Small things. Other people's precious kids and I only am a small piece of caring for them. I think of Jenna with Jack and feel good. They are home and warm and safe. I think of my kids all across the country and pray for their best in all areas. I love many and much but none so much as my Lord God who saved me. Sigh. This may be over the top for a blog but I simply am bubbling over with appreciation and gratitude. My heart overflows.
So if I diverge forgive me. My salvation is still fresh in my heart and mind.
The tree is up and the decorations are lovely. The lights twinkle and shine and every other night they greet me as I stumble to the bathroom or to get a drink and I am so comforted at the representation of new life in Christ for me, an undeserving but oh so appreciative sinner saved by grace. I like the giving of gifts as a small token of what I have been given. I like thinking of all the people I love and preparing a small gift for them that I hope blesses them.
The feasting at holiday time is a fine thing. No matter what the feast is be it a chicken or a rolled rib roast with trimmings. Eating with friends that supper of celebration together bringing another year to a close and looking forward to the time that Jesus comes back. I love my Lord so much and seldom blog big words about it but tonight in the presence of many children and a dear friend with a cold I am so aware of my joy. The snow is blowing and swirling. The puppy is learning to sit. The gas fireplace suddenly began to work and it is sleepover night at S's house. Girls are singing little silly chants and the boys are cleaning the basement.Tish is a sleeping and the baby not far behind. Canary is snoring already as she was watching the boys clean and fell sound asleep. Small things. Other people's precious kids and I only am a small piece of caring for them. I think of Jenna with Jack and feel good. They are home and warm and safe. I think of my kids all across the country and pray for their best in all areas. I love many and much but none so much as my Lord God who saved me. Sigh. This may be over the top for a blog but I simply am bubbling over with appreciation and gratitude. My heart overflows.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
A Wonderful Wintery Day!
It is quiet time here at Suzanne's. Spongebob is on and the kids each have a couch. Tisha is in her room and no longer upset. She would not let me do the dishes so I put her away for awhile to mellow out. The dog is in his cage and out the big family room doors and windows it is blowing and cold.
I go pick up more kids by 5 so this is my last moment to rest and relax. Natch I am on the computer and lovin it!
I will add to my bloglist later when I can take more time but at least put one up. Followers please add to my list. I hate to be so singular.
Jack called me awhile ago and he sounds cozy and doing fine. Jenna is catching up on her homework today. Peggy is getting out of the hospital and hopefully in time for the "Go Fish" concert tonight. Lewcie is coming here to play with Demetrius. Tonight is bath night for all. Tomorrow is church and lucky me gets to take a bundle of kids. I do like being Godmother and Mary Poppins too.
Being a gramma is a full time job!
I go pick up more kids by 5 so this is my last moment to rest and relax. Natch I am on the computer and lovin it!
I will add to my bloglist later when I can take more time but at least put one up. Followers please add to my list. I hate to be so singular.
Jack called me awhile ago and he sounds cozy and doing fine. Jenna is catching up on her homework today. Peggy is getting out of the hospital and hopefully in time for the "Go Fish" concert tonight. Lewcie is coming here to play with Demetrius. Tonight is bath night for all. Tomorrow is church and lucky me gets to take a bundle of kids. I do like being Godmother and Mary Poppins too.
Being a gramma is a full time job!
Thanksgiving was great!
We went afar for a family fun time!
Nashville or bust I said...well I got the flu on the way after being with sickies all weekend before we left. So forced to stop at a Super 8 somewhere in Illinois I unloaded while fighting the urge to unload more and made it in with Jack before the truly bad 8 hours began. The next day I forced myself to get up and move it out. When we arrived in Nashville I was mostly better.
Oh how fun to see Jessi and Jamie first thing. They helped us get in and unload the car. I brought gifts for all and they lined the corner of the dining area off their living room. It was so exciting to be there and see the beautiful house where Lance and Jamie live. Jamie looked thin and lovely and by golly so did Jessi Lynn. Lance got there late and they opened the envelope from the ultra-sound. Then they tortured us watching a 30 minute video of the ultra sound with the sex of the baby clear at the very end. It is a boy!
The next day brought the arrival of all the others. Ira and Ashley got there in the night and brought their sleeping kids up to waiting porta cribs. In the morning I was so excited to see all. Beck and Evie were cute as ever and full of sweetness. In the evening Jessi and Lance retrieved Brandy from the airport. My heart my heart!
Thanksgiving day was a day for relaxing and later a supper of Lasagna, salad and garlic bread at the beautiful table. We did the actual Thanksgiving meal a day late and that made it so easy and fun. Lance is a virtual energizer bunny and did have coffee and breakfast ready each morning. Jack's bedroom was a lovely futon on the lower level in the den ( soon to be baby's nursery) and so my upstairs bedroom gave me much needed rest. Lance gave Jack his breakfast before I even meandered down. That was a godsend for me and I really got rested!
So we put the turkey in at 7 a.m. and it was fine at 2 p.m. The menu was turkey, stuffing, mashed dilly potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes, tater- tot casserole with green beans, corn and cranberries. So traditional and simple. I enjoyed the whole day! What a black Friday. We played fun games in the afternoon. Spoon and egg carry for the kids and wheelbarrow races plus egg toss for the adults. Lance was a fun Host! We opened the Thanksgiving presents after dinner and before pie. Everyone got something nice.
Later that night we took a trip to the Opreyland Hotel and walked a mile and another mile and another but oh how beautiful it was! Jack stayed home and slept while we went on the adventure. We saw a Christmas show and so many beautiful lights.
Lance took us out to some fun boutiques and stores too and I found a cake carrier from the 50's.
Ash found a cook book holder made from white painted iron and an adorable cellulose doll from the 50-60's for her kitchen window. Treasures from a trip are even more special!
So eventually Tuesday rolled around and Jack and I hit the road at 10:30. We made it to the same Super 8 by dark and stayed a better stay that night and got home Weds. afternoon. We are now back to normal and the trip is a pleasant memory. Pictures are ordered and memories will be forever when we are reminded. Playing soccer with Beck and watching him go crazy excited when his little sister opened her birthday gifts. We celebrated Evie's early with Ashley's on Saturday. Evie carried around a "baby" as big as she is. Gramma loves to give gifts! Ashley got a set of silverware that she needed and I got a subscription for her to Mary Jane's Farm magazine.
Nashville or bust I said...well I got the flu on the way after being with sickies all weekend before we left. So forced to stop at a Super 8 somewhere in Illinois I unloaded while fighting the urge to unload more and made it in with Jack before the truly bad 8 hours began. The next day I forced myself to get up and move it out. When we arrived in Nashville I was mostly better.
Oh how fun to see Jessi and Jamie first thing. They helped us get in and unload the car. I brought gifts for all and they lined the corner of the dining area off their living room. It was so exciting to be there and see the beautiful house where Lance and Jamie live. Jamie looked thin and lovely and by golly so did Jessi Lynn. Lance got there late and they opened the envelope from the ultra-sound. Then they tortured us watching a 30 minute video of the ultra sound with the sex of the baby clear at the very end. It is a boy!
The next day brought the arrival of all the others. Ira and Ashley got there in the night and brought their sleeping kids up to waiting porta cribs. In the morning I was so excited to see all. Beck and Evie were cute as ever and full of sweetness. In the evening Jessi and Lance retrieved Brandy from the airport. My heart my heart!
Thanksgiving day was a day for relaxing and later a supper of Lasagna, salad and garlic bread at the beautiful table. We did the actual Thanksgiving meal a day late and that made it so easy and fun. Lance is a virtual energizer bunny and did have coffee and breakfast ready each morning. Jack's bedroom was a lovely futon on the lower level in the den ( soon to be baby's nursery) and so my upstairs bedroom gave me much needed rest. Lance gave Jack his breakfast before I even meandered down. That was a godsend for me and I really got rested!
So we put the turkey in at 7 a.m. and it was fine at 2 p.m. The menu was turkey, stuffing, mashed dilly potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes, tater- tot casserole with green beans, corn and cranberries. So traditional and simple. I enjoyed the whole day! What a black Friday. We played fun games in the afternoon. Spoon and egg carry for the kids and wheelbarrow races plus egg toss for the adults. Lance was a fun Host! We opened the Thanksgiving presents after dinner and before pie. Everyone got something nice.
Later that night we took a trip to the Opreyland Hotel and walked a mile and another mile and another but oh how beautiful it was! Jack stayed home and slept while we went on the adventure. We saw a Christmas show and so many beautiful lights.
Lance took us out to some fun boutiques and stores too and I found a cake carrier from the 50's.
Ash found a cook book holder made from white painted iron and an adorable cellulose doll from the 50-60's for her kitchen window. Treasures from a trip are even more special!
So eventually Tuesday rolled around and Jack and I hit the road at 10:30. We made it to the same Super 8 by dark and stayed a better stay that night and got home Weds. afternoon. We are now back to normal and the trip is a pleasant memory. Pictures are ordered and memories will be forever when we are reminded. Playing soccer with Beck and watching him go crazy excited when his little sister opened her birthday gifts. We celebrated Evie's early with Ashley's on Saturday. Evie carried around a "baby" as big as she is. Gramma loves to give gifts! Ashley got a set of silverware that she needed and I got a subscription for her to Mary Jane's Farm magazine.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
From the Basement to the Attic
I crawled into the tub with my book "Do You Think I'm beautiful?" by Angela Thomas. Before I was done I reached an awareness that I had become someone I never wanted to be and it was my choice to call out to God and ask Him to change it. I called out and today was better. I am realizing that I have been disobedient in an area and though Heavenly Father has been very faithful and kind to me...waiting for me to realize where I had gone in my pain. I had left my first love...not completely but turned away and stopped seeking. What I have done to survive in my home I have done to my Saviour and Lord as well. Go through the motions the feelings may come back later but for now just keep on keeping on has been my mantra.
I do not want to be less that in a vital alive active relationship with my God. I want to be in the word daily, praying and prophecying, doing service as I am led, obedient in my finances as well as in the church and community and home.
My tears are real and my repentance is real and I fear the thing that so often happens between the knowing and the doing...looking into the mirror then walking away and forgetting what I look like. I so long to instantly obey. I want to trust God in every area and plug my ears to the world's voices.
I still want to be able to get past my circumstances and to put my life on the life every day. Either God is real every day and in all the ways He claims or else it is a fairy tale and I know it is real so I want to walk in the reality of my faith. Putting feet to my faith every day. Yes!
So the deal is this: I feel renewed and refreshed. I now want to be refueled and revived and I am going to do my part to see that in my life. God is good and I trust him so I want others to see that I really do in the small choices or the huge life changing ones. It is all the same.
Am now in the attic (emotionally) with my Bible in my hand. I am going forward with my Redeemer!
Thanks for your prayers and please do not stop. The Baldwin household needs God and His Mercy and Grace in every area of life.
I do not want to be less that in a vital alive active relationship with my God. I want to be in the word daily, praying and prophecying, doing service as I am led, obedient in my finances as well as in the church and community and home.
My tears are real and my repentance is real and I fear the thing that so often happens between the knowing and the doing...looking into the mirror then walking away and forgetting what I look like. I so long to instantly obey. I want to trust God in every area and plug my ears to the world's voices.
I still want to be able to get past my circumstances and to put my life on the life every day. Either God is real every day and in all the ways He claims or else it is a fairy tale and I know it is real so I want to walk in the reality of my faith. Putting feet to my faith every day. Yes!
So the deal is this: I feel renewed and refreshed. I now want to be refueled and revived and I am going to do my part to see that in my life. God is good and I trust him so I want others to see that I really do in the small choices or the huge life changing ones. It is all the same.
Am now in the attic (emotionally) with my Bible in my hand. I am going forward with my Redeemer!
Thanks for your prayers and please do not stop. The Baldwin household needs God and His Mercy and Grace in every area of life.
Monday, November 17, 2008
It is very nearly time to think about Christmas!
I have no energy for the season.
My heart got broke awhile back and the mending happens in surges and lulls.
This is a lull.
I love a party, want everything beautiful and inviting. My doll house is over-run with people and now the mice have moved in too. I feel invaded and crowded out. Too much to do and to little manpower to do it. I may not even make it to Christmas with any mistletoe and holly. A Tree? Oh not that mess. Where will I put the tree this year. There is not room except on the deck. There won't be any presents to physically put under it but that doesn't matter as much as the idea of celebrating. Sigh. Maybe some cheese for the mice and a kerchief for the dog...
Sickness has invaded. Came in the Jenna door and hopefully will go out the Lyndee window. I want to be well to drive to Nashville for Thanksgiving.
Someone sent me a picture of a brain this morning. I knew I lost something but where is it now...my mind that is. Is the temper in the mind. I lost that too. Oh shucks, the sense of humor went too.
So, hopefully you will read this and realize that I am coming to the end of my enthusiasm and overcoming spirit and please pray I get some kind of renewal, refuelling and refreshing. I need energy and my sense of humor restored plus for my head, back and feet to stop hurting. Did I mention my neck and both wrists? (Just a touch from you will help Lord). So readers pray for Grammaninners to be restored to vibrancy and vigor.
Thanks much!
My heart got broke awhile back and the mending happens in surges and lulls.
This is a lull.
I love a party, want everything beautiful and inviting. My doll house is over-run with people and now the mice have moved in too. I feel invaded and crowded out. Too much to do and to little manpower to do it. I may not even make it to Christmas with any mistletoe and holly. A Tree? Oh not that mess. Where will I put the tree this year. There is not room except on the deck. There won't be any presents to physically put under it but that doesn't matter as much as the idea of celebrating. Sigh. Maybe some cheese for the mice and a kerchief for the dog...
Sickness has invaded. Came in the Jenna door and hopefully will go out the Lyndee window. I want to be well to drive to Nashville for Thanksgiving.
Someone sent me a picture of a brain this morning. I knew I lost something but where is it now...my mind that is. Is the temper in the mind. I lost that too. Oh shucks, the sense of humor went too.
So, hopefully you will read this and realize that I am coming to the end of my enthusiasm and overcoming spirit and please pray I get some kind of renewal, refuelling and refreshing. I need energy and my sense of humor restored plus for my head, back and feet to stop hurting. Did I mention my neck and both wrists? (Just a touch from you will help Lord). So readers pray for Grammaninners to be restored to vibrancy and vigor.
Thanks much!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Update on Jack
Jack went in for a ultrasound on his kidney this week and the report came back. He does have a cyst but it is normal and no problemo! His pain is gone also from the big sneeze last week. Much ado about that ah...choo!
We are thankful for your prayers!
We are thankful for your prayers!
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