Saturday, May 24, 2008

I am un-ready!

Not in spirit but in body and prep time. The wedding is Thursday and this is Saturday. I have to find Jack's clothing somewhere in the attic. We wondered if he would ever need it last year was so bad...but yipppeeee! He is doing some better. Actually not perfect seeing as how he landed on his head and had to have staples put in this morning at the E.R. Sigh! I was here and he was there with Jenna and she took care of it. Pastor came too and that calmed Jack. Then they came down to Madtown and went to chiro and had a reasonably good time here eating pizza and watching the kids go nutzo and Jessi paint the new fence.
I laid hands on his head and prayed. Now I must change directions and go forward to the wedding. I am just this minute going to bed. I only got 4 hours last night and frankly that is just not enough and even if you never can keep up so what I will try! See some of you soon at the wedding and will post a few great shots in a couple weeks. Over the moon is my daughter and her intended seems a bit moony too. It is good...sooon enough old age creeps in and causes the inevitable losses but love may never be lost only translated in a new language for the time that is.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Freak Out!

I have not been this jumpy and tormented since I was asked to play a part in a drama of an abusive mother. That time I flipped out when I was on the way home. It was dangerous for me and today was sorta like that. Cannot completely explain but I am not going to take the job at Kwik Trip and I must tell them ASAP. I may not take any job that is regimented or where I feel trapped (not by my pain or by the job constraints). I would rather gather weeds to eat. At least that is fun. My life is so stressful right now that I just know if I step out just for the money that I will be in line for a breakdown of some kind. Physical usually goes for me...but feature what kind of crazy I could be. That is a picture. I am still looking for a very part time job for a couple days a week that is right for me!
I long for some kinda freedom and some kind of fun. I loved my job at the church and it offered variety. That is my best feature. I transition well for variety! I ask for your prayers that I might get through all this and do better physically, mentally, and emotionally ... plus maybe some financial perks as well! I wait and watch.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The New Kid!

So last week when I arrived I was told S took a 5 year old that was in a shelter with the mom. She got a check and went off to do crack leaving David with another person. Uh oh! That broke the shelter rules and after a day and night gone Social Services intervened. So what was being discussed with S as a mere respite became emergency foster care and David is still here. He is cute, Downs Syndrome, but pretty strong and physical. He has seen abuse so acts it out with other kids and dolls. He hits me when he is angry and runs away and taunts me if I try to catch him. It is purely hilarious to him and not very funny to myself or S. Fortunately, so far, other kids have helped me corral him. S put up a fence and Jackie and Jessi hauled all the kid toys off the deck into the fence. Originally it was for Tish but S will utilize the peremiters for keeping David safe. He is quick and can undo locks with little trouble. Although his speech is hard to distinguish (the kids tell me he is swearing but I ignore it as S instructed) he makes signs and uses some common words well. His main drawback for me is that he goes dead weight when he doesn't want to go to bed or sit on potty. He is as big as 5 year olds get and it is like trying to give my collie/shepherd a bath. Ouch! So all week I have had pain from the spinal stinosis which flared up and affected my legs and feet a lot. I just cannot let him win. I use sweet talk and kissy face stuff a lot and he does respond but when he really doesn't want to obey I have to use my strength. Pray for me to get strong! Jenna gave me money to go to curves for a month so I am going to begin there and then go on with my own book from what Jessi taught me. I have to now as it will be hard to find someone to take him. Pray for him and his mama as she tried to commit suicide when she came back and found he had been taken from her by Social Services. God can change anything if we let Him! This kid is cute and my heart goes out to him but oh what a drain of constant energy between him and Tisha. Tisha and him get along like two alley cats. Spit and growl...
With a little help from anywhere I can get it I will survive!
Mom just called. She has been in acute pain from her spinal stinosis problem and is going to Chiro and doing physical therapy with exercise. I hope she soon feels better as she wants to go to Jamie's wedding and the pain may keep her away. Her gall bladder surgery is June 11th. Peggy is having surgeries this summer too on both of her knees. One is a clean up and one a replacement I think...Well, enough chatty stuff here. I am on to clean up after kids. Go Lynda!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Joy Joy!

Spent some time in Minnelovalopolis as Lance calls the city of his beloved. I went with Jamie to her wedding shower put on by ladies at the church and got to meet Lance her intended finally. He met my expectation and I see that they are matched in many ways. Love is in the air for sure!
My next visit with them will be the day before their wedding in lovely Iowa near a bridge in Madison County...did you read the book and see the movie? Well if you did you know the charm of the area and the scene that will be unfolding at the wedding on the 29th on Rosesomething bridge. Yeah!
The additional joys are that my grandbabies will attend and my kids to attend them. I will be in 7th heaven after much absence from 2 of them and their parents.
I also got to have lunch with Jessi this week. I prepared angelhair pasta with mushrooms, chicken and pea-pods and the sauce was classic with roasted sundried tomatoes. On the side I marinated roma tomatoes with italian dressing and served them with parmesan. Dessert was fresh fruit...grapes and strawberries. It was lovely and she enjoyed it and we spent an extra hour sitting together catching up after a long absence since October.
The older I get the more time races by. Oh how I remember lying watching clouds go by and dreaming of the future. Now I just take it as it comes and sleep quick to get ready for the future to unfold each day.
My close friend Mary Ann has been in the hospital down south for a week. She and her husband have moved down there for the slower pace but it seems this health threat has caused her to think of moving closer to her kids. Not so close they drop all their responsibilites on them but close enough they can drive to help or to see them in an emergency. I think that may be the best result of this scare. Right this minute three of the girls are visiting her and that made her feel valued.
It was a busy week. I had what seemed a successful interview with Kwik trip and wait to hear if they want me for a part time employee. I am not in a hurry but do need some employment soon. I have much to do before it happens though. Like get out Jack's summer clothes and choose some fit for a wedding on a bridge somewhere in Iowa.. Tee Hee!
I feel frustrated that Jack has dementia and yet I still want him to be part of everything in our lives as much as he can. I want to be more patient and to juggle and balance the acts I must to make it all work. I have to stay right on top of what is going on with him and in his emotions. I like coming down to work at Madison. Working with kids is a joy and then going home is a joy afterwards, I am more ready for the smallness of our existance after being involved with others in a meaninful industry. I am working at figuring out my space in this world and my responsibility to my husband and to myself all the while trying to serve God honestly and first. It really is all one but the perspective must be checked with prayer and the word regularly.
Joy also is tomorrow. A chiropractic adjustment yes that is so needed after hauling a dead weight downs syndrome big 5 year old around today but better even is the time I will spend with my Eliana. Yipppppppeee!